I woke up this morning feeling really thick. Not, like, fat thick. Rather as though my brain had been filled in with cement.
But I don't mean stupid thick either. Hm. A headache where some kind of heavy custard is filling up the empty spaces around my brain.
Then I got up and instead of the feeling going away, I allowed the custard to spill over from just being in my head to filling up the rest of my body.
Can you imagine what that would look like in a cadavar?
'And usually you would be able here to determine most of the specimens viscera were it not for this delicious yellow custard.'
What this usually means is that today is a complete write off. If I wake up feeling rubbish like this, the day usually amounts to nothing and I go back to bed and try life again when I wake up.
Not in a depressing way! Ho, no. The other option is I may just need to take some disprin and take a shit and all the thickness in my body will magically disappear.
I've just discovered Disprin and it is fucking wonderful. It dissolves really fast and that means it works really fast! I know, that's the whole point but let's just make some allowances to the fact that i'm a bit slow at the best of times and call it a day.
Now let me take a moment to be a little bit serious, dip into my role as health practitioner and give some advice:
Migraine's are classed by the WHO as one of the most debilitating sudden onset conditions that Australian's suffer from. Word displacement, light distortion, blurry vision, nausea etc. are common for many migraine sufferers. Unless pain relief is dispensed within 20 minutes of the migraines commencement not much can be done for the relief of a migraine except riding it out. This is pretty shit considering some migraines can last up to 3 days. Disprin is a fast disolving form of asprin that when taken immediately (3 tablets either taken normally or disolved in water) can provide huge amounts of relief. DISPRIN IS THE SHIT. Even the codeine in Panadeine Extra, my old go to, would sometimes fail me re: migraines, Disprin thus far has not.
Okay, I am going to try and disperse my thickness and smash out the gym before it closes today at 4pm. Because lets be honest NOONE WANTS TO BE FAT ON THEIR BIRTHDAY!
And yes, it's my birthday in 10 days
N x
