So, as promised, I am going to post some pictures of my pottery work.
This is a rare opportunity to see the development and evolution of...okay, so uhm, i'm not very good at pottery and I have a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly long way to go before I am so there IS no real development or evolution..YET.
Stay with me here...
Okay so, what you see above is the first thing I made in pottery. Hey! Reign in the judgement there buddy, yes I KNOW it is a person in the foetal position that is highly distressed about something. Yes, I AM aware it's a hugely emo expressive piece and I think, fuck you, try doing something else when you're waist deep in shit thanks to a several month long Chron's episode.
Next piece is more cheery, you'll be happy to know that by this stage my chrons episode has subsided and i'm well on the way to a steroid induced fat-phase. Imagine how happy my fat little dimpled face was when I decided to make this teapot. There's a little bird on it!
If you are prone to crying I suggest you don't imagine my fat little face the picture of disappointment when I realised that things shrink in the Kiln by APPARENTLY 10% which seems in real life to be more like 30-40% and my teapot came out slightly bigger than my 2 fists put together.
And while my hands are a little bit big to be described as 'feminine' they are not really big enough to make a functional teapot. When filled with boiling water this baby can, with a very thin weak stream, barely fill a normal sized mug (hence the baby cups I made to go along with it.)
You live you learn! Let's move along. Next came a whole set of these babies. Cleverly designed to fit comfortably in one hand, so the other can shovel some kind of slippery food quickly into your mouth via chopstick. Genius right?
Wrong!
Once I took these home, I excitedly told Mama that we were to use them as little salad bowls and put them next to everyones plates (yes, I understand salad is not quite the same as slippery chinese food, but I was working with what I had.)
Now is the time to mention that there is a full set of about one hundred of these, all with the brilliant brain pattern on them.
We sit down at the table and my sister picks hers up to examine it with delight. This is where the vital flaw of the design was noticed. The bottoms are completely curved. They move. Constantly. Sway from side to side in a balancing act so dangerous that only really heavy floor safe foods are allowed to be put in them.
They reside in the bottom of the cupboard. I'm trying to figure out who to give them to.
No matter! Lesson learnt. My chubby brain (yes, every single part of my body is quite chubby, brain included) probably was trying to do me a favour. No chinese food is going in those babies. Moving on...
Here I decided to stop making the non-functional variety of emo statues and crockery and to start making something useful.
I am just going to take a moment now to clarify that YES these photos were taken on a black chair with the bathroom door as a backdrop, and that is because I am not only a pottery prodigy but am also a photography-maestro.
So, this is a little thing for oil and vinegar. Pretty cool ey? EY? It's a shame that no-one can ever 'see' the animal in both sections. It's not a magic eye, it just takes a little bit of effort. Next.
This one, is a boat shaped bowl with horses in it. It was intended to be a potato bowl at Christmas, my plans were again foiled by the shrinking ray inside the Kiln and this could only perhaps fit 4 spuds in it. Try to learn your lesson Nani, just...try..
*tilt your head to right to see the picture properly...I haven't figured out how to do that on here yet*
Another bowl, this time bigger (lesson learnt!), with a flatter bottom (lesson kind of learnt) BUT WITH THE DESIGN ON THE BOTTOM SO YOU CANNOT SEE IT UNLESS IT'S UPSIDE DOWN. Zing! Take that chubby brain, try to fix that one.
Now, my plans with the above 3 'works' were foiled not just by the kiln shrinking ray, or by upside down designs but rather by Mama. She loved them. All of them. Infact, the oil + vinegar beauty was destined to go to her for Christmas, but it was not to be.
She confiscated them. All of them. None of them are allowed to ever be used and they are to be kept in her room where she can look at them and be the proud owner of my 'first works!'
When I point out that my wobbly bowls are also part of my 'first works' collection, she seems to be a little annoyed at me and they unexplicably remain in the cupboard.
Finally, so we're up to date, Mama's birthday present:
Again, confiscated. This time I got a flat bottom, it's reasonably sized and the design is in the visible part of the bowl (albeit a little off center). A much appreciated gift, and she didn't even mind when I told her that I thought initially the dog and antler thing were having sex which is why I chose it.
When I went into Mama's room today to photograph the 'precious' works, I found them not quite how I imagined they would be displayed. In all their glory, perhaps mounted, a drop light illuminating their beauty. Rather it was like this.
I particularly like the 'stacked on top of one another' look she's gone for with the most recent ones! Very creative. See if you can find them all! I am going to go with, she actually does like my stuff, not: She is rather embarrassed to have them displayed around the home.
And yes, those are boobs hanging into the picture.
Nani x
