Sure, I have the ability to be very car sick when I'm not even in a car - but the talent I wanted to really focus on was my anxiety.
I just spent a horrible evening last night with my boyfriend, Fabian, insisting that we need to talk about some fundamental flaws in our relationship. Anyone who knows me and Fabian knows that there are no fundamental flaws in our relationship, really. We're adorable and love each other and get along so well and he's the best person ever. Look, this is how great we are.
See? Adorable! Last nights 'issue' was, if i'm being honest, me being a little crazy and over stressed and taking it out on Fabian. Poor guy, we've fought maybe 5 times in the whole time we've been together and last night I just dumped so much crap on him!
Anyway, INSERT LONG WINDED INSIGHT INTO OUR PRIVATE AFFAIRS THAT WILL SATISFY READERS, PREFERABLY SOMETHING TRUTHFUL YET WITTY And so, it makes perfect sense that the agreement we've come to is that I am not allowed to over control our relationship and he's going to take over for a bit.
So, basically, last nights events made me think, 'Am I that bad, really? Am I truly so loopy?'.
I have no idea. I called my phychiatrist, he can deal with it and let me know.
So, I have no intention of figuring out whether i'm loopy or no, but I did have heightened awareness of myself and my actions today to make sure I noticed any weird behaviour to pass on to previously mentioned health practitioner. And this is what I caught myself doing.
I was on the way home from work on my push bike, for the third time ever driving on the ROAD. And in order to continue cycling I resulted to what I think is normal, and what, after close self analysis I realise others might think is a little loopy.In order to give myself the courage to continue riding my push bike home with cars driving around me - I...okay keep the terrifying situation I was in in mind please.
...I was singing, quite loudly, EYE OF THE TIGER.
Yep.
Imagine this...You're in a car, you turn into a street and infront of you, wobbling along on her pushbike is a chubby girl who slowly is making her way up the very slight incline of the road. You can't take over because she sporadically swerves slightly into traffic. You manage to overtake at a time when she's decided the footpath is safer. You hit a red light and in your rearview mirror you see her, bravely huffing along, very slowly, she seems to be shouting something. You wind down your window and you hear...
So it's the eye of the tiger it's the...cream of the crop! Rising up to the challenge of our...nuhhnuhhs!
I would have had a steely looked of determination on my red little face that was somewhat hidden by the purple sparkly horse riding helmet I wear when riding my bike.
Im not quite sure what I'm meant to do with this newly realised view of myself. Though I think perhaps that I'm just completely fantastic not over stressed, high anxiety etc, and that EYE OF THE TIGER was specifically designed to get people like me through every day life. Agreed? Yes I think so.
Nani x
