After our chat he turned around and faced me, naked, for 7 minutes.

So a few Saturday nights ago I went to Summer's hens night. It was very very much fun. I have never been to a hen's night before and I had only ever heard horrible, horrible things about them.

This was very different to what I expected.

Instead of going to the strippers we went to a life-drawing class. That kept the traditional naked man element but managed to make it classy. (Good work Nova!)

I had such a good time doing the drawing. I have to admit to when the guy took his pants off I was really glad he was facing away from me (we were in a circle, so some of the other girls got a look full frontal). I was much more comfortable with butt.

After we did our first few sets of pictures we all took a break and the model put on some rather small bonds underwear and chatted away with us all. Next thing I know, his attention is firmly fixed on talking to me about everything and anything (and I mean he barely paused for breath) and all the other girls have not so subtly run off to the other side of the room.

Thanks girls.

So, while I listened to him talk about his opera singing background, how he loves children and how now only sings for his church. I was trying really hard to ignore the fact that he was simultaneously playing with his nipples and trying to convince me to be the one to have children with him.*

*he may not have actually asked me to do that, but he totally had a crush on me and wanted my babies. If you don't believe me, keep reading.

Then we went back to the next round of drawing. This is when the man running the show told us we could spend 7 minutes focusing on detail for this new pose the model had struck.

As soon as he said that, model turned full frontal towards me, legs spread and hands on hips. I needed to spend a minute of two hiding behind my easel to compose myself at this stage.

Then he just kept talking and talking and it was really weird him complementing me on the rosary beads I was wearing while I was drawing his nakedness. Oh and also the fact that HIS PENIS WAS FACING ME. That was really weird too.

At the end of the session, he spent much time talking to me again and asked to smell my rosary beads, which I let him do but felt was super weird. This entire conversation was happening in front of my easel where I had taken the time to draw sack as well as penis by the way. Very embarrassing.

Then he said:

'I like your hair. What do you call it?'

This is where I decided my day had gotten too weird, and as I stood there trying to figure out if my answer should be 'Gregory' or 'Charles' he says:

'Brunette! I knew I'd remember it. How long is it?'

My hair was out so it was very obvious how long it was so I just pointed to where it, you know...ended, which seemed, i thought, the only answer I was capable of.

I left there with his card. It says-

Life model
Vocalist
Weddings
Funerals

At least I now know that there exists someone who will pose nude at my mothers funeral when the time comes. Thank god.

After everyone laughed at me a great deal we went and ate Mexican food which was SO good.

The end.

Oh fine, here's a photo.



Come on, You didn't think I'd post a picture of a naked dude on here did you? One the floor next to me you can see a picture of his bum. That's all you're getting. This isn't a pornography blog you know.

Love Nani x

[Review] Richard the III just wasn't Gross und Klein

I promised a review on Kevin Spacey's Richard the III and on Kate Blanchett's Gross und Klein.

Richard the III

As you all know this was the entire reason for my flying over to Sydney. I was very excited to see Kevin Spacey perform theatre. I had heard only good things about his on stage performances and Richard the III was a Shakespeare play I was unfamiliar with.

Sadly, it just didn't live up to what I thought it would.

Sam Mendes was directing and after his stellar collaboration with Spacey in American Beauty - one of my favourite films, I was expecting very much from them. The film was created on a low budget yet it was such a spectacle, the colours and the scenes were very big.

Unfortunately, this wasn't recreated in his adaptation of Richard the III. I don't think I can fault Spacey's performance as much as I think the direction and production was pretty lousy.

I had the sense that the people involved thought it would simply be enough to have Spacey there and that little other effort needed to be expended. This was enormously disappointing when I reflect on how massive their budget would have been and the potential this play had to be truly great.

The story is incredible and the script does so much of the work for the play. Unfortunately Spacey was pulling on what another reviewer described as 'cheap laughs' from the audience. He'd put a sarcastic note on a line and the crowd would be rolling in the aisles laughing. It was a little embarrassing to be amongst such a grateful crowd. It also didn't do Spacey any favours; the script is already funny without conveying the lines as though to an audience of children.

Predictably enough, it was the Kevin Spacey show. None of the other characters were well developed enough throughout the play for the audience to form any loyalty or bond with them, so when inevitably Richard the III does away with them, we didn't really care. This was a big fail, Richard the III revolves enough around Richard as the central character for everyone to get their fill of Spacey, I feel as though more time could have been dedicated to the other characters/actors.

Though perhaps when I say 'more time' I ought to bite my tongue. The production went for 3.5 hours. Easily at least an hour too long. Beginning at 8pm we were leaving the theatre close to midnight and we'll past the time I’d like to be in bed curled up with a book, it was a real effort to hold my concentration.

With great empathy for the actors I also need to mention that there were no microphones. This wouldn't be an ordeal for such wonderful actors as were there that night, had the play not lasted so long, not to mention it was in a theatre that held 2000 people. When there were scenes which involved shouting much of the language was lost to the hoarse shouting of the cast. They were done a great injustice for no reason.

When it was finally over our little group of 4 seemed to be the only ones not giving a standing ovation. I again felt embarrassed to be surrounded by people who were just drooling over seeing Spacey live, who were so star struck that they were too blinded to see that the play they just watched was below par.

As we left everyone was gushing, one theatre goer remarked 'Well! That was certainly an experience!’ I have to agree, it's the first time in my life that I've almost fallen asleep during a play.

When talking to my mum and some friends of hers later I realised without knowing it they were describing the play perfectly. They have Serbian accents and they sometimes pronounce 'th' as 't' and thus Richard the Third became...'Richard the Turd'. A wonderfully succinct way to summarise the way I felt about the whole thing.

Gross und Klein review to come.

Nani x

Kevin Spacey, Picasso and crab merangue, what more could i ask for?

I am writing this on a ipad, which makes me very happy indeed, and the i pad that i am 'typing' on is in Sydney, which of course means that i am also in Sydney...i guess it could also mean that i have extremely long arms, but no, i got here to the i pad by plane. *shudder*.

Anyway i did not come to sydney to play on an. Pad, though this is so much fun that its something i will consider doing in te future.

Please excuse all the spelling and grammar mistakes on here, i have hardly any idea how to use thing thing.

So, begin again Nani!

I am in Sydney and I came here with my Sister and Luke (i dont know why sister is capitalised, that is not actually her name and i dont know how to go back and erase just one letter!) to watch Kevin Spacey in Richard III, then I went to the Picasso exhibit and now im staying with my family friend/aunty who is a ceramic artist and im doing a little bit f pottery here AND tonight i'm going to see Cate Blanchett in Gross und Klein tonight. What a week away!

I will have proper reviews on the plays that i'll post on here...for now, that's all!

Nani x