My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And by 'the boys' I mean 'the jiggle' and by 'to the yard' I mean to my wonderful bottom...



The passed week or so has been hardcore study time. Fabian has his Literature Review for honours due tomorrow and that means that we've been locked in doors for most of the day each day.

I am locked in voluntarily. I like being there as a support and to read over new paragraphs and to bring him (and myself) cake when times get tough and brains melt. Speaking of cake, check out Zoe's latest creation:

It's an AZTEC cake she made for her partner, Ryan...(it was his birthday the other night, that post will come later!)



I've been eating a lot of that aztec goodness since Sunday and I am a sincere advocat that sugar is good for you. I am also certain I'll have to delete this blog when I finish uni and start practising.

Don't be fooled into thinking that all i've been doing this past week is eating cake and drinking milkshakes, ho-no! I've also been doing work. See 5 out of my 7 subjects (which is a crazy amount by the way) have no exam this semester.

This is the kind of information that makes me immensly pleased, see I am a big big hater of exams and a mega lover of assignments. However, this means I do indeed have assignments this semester.

13 to be precise. Luckily for me, I've handed in a whoping 2 of those and have entirely completed a 3rd.

What i've done this week is start and do some work on 8 of those. There are only 2 I haven't touched yet, but that's only because I'm not a superwoman and mainly I blame it on a lack of milkshakes.

Still, i'm totally kicking ass.

Now that i've blown my horn a lot i'm off to continue working on one of the 8 that are in progress.

Love Nani x

At least I'm warm in my big fake fur blanket

So here I am wearing my own socks and not some of Fabians. See, this is a pretty exciting deal because apparently i'm infamous for stealing his socks. Oh, and then I apparently lose them and forcing the OCD-darling to wear mis-matched ones is a crime beyond comprehension.

My comprehension that is.

So, every now and then Fabian has a hiss at me about not having any socks and I go out and buy him 10 pairs (and myself a whole bunch so I can stop taking his.) Technically, when I steal and lose his socks it's not so bad seeing as they were gifts from me anyway.

I was sitting here, right in this very spot about 30 minutes ago when I said: 'Darling, do you think I can wear some of your socks? Just while I'm sitting here. I promise I won't take them home.'

That is the kind of trick-foolery i've had to resort to in order to get some warmers for my feet. Horrible stuff.

Off he goes, because he is a loving man (and also he doesn't like it when my giant size 10 feet are ice blocks because, obviously, those are big areas of cold I could put on him while he's trying to sleep.)

He comes back and tries to give me these wierd checkerboard socks that belong to no-one and live in the odd sock drawer. No deal Fabian. Try again.

He comes back and tries to give me a pair of his that reach halfway to my knees and feel like those iron sponge things you use to clean the dishes. No thanks Fabian. Try again.

FINALLY he returns with what I requested which was 'Some socks that are yours and that are preferably those nice fuzzy black ankle ones I got you, but any black ankle ones will do'.

And, you won't bloody believe it. THEY WERE MINE! Ha! Who is stealing whose socks NOW MR. FABIAN?!

They are 100% mine and they are on my feet and they are mine to lose guilt free.

Take that.

Nani x

Owls

I just ate a really delicious Froghurt. Frozen Yoghurt. I don't even know if i'm spelling that correctly. Frog-hurt. Oh, now I feel mean. And am also fantasising about the kid that plays Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter films.

In other news, this is what I've learnt from my class tonight:

Priapus is the greek god of erections. Priapism is a persistent, non pleasurable erection.

I like how they tried to make it sound casual by talking about a Greek God first. Thank god they softened that blow, cause lord knows how i'd deal with it if my lecturer started my class with talk of persistent, non pleasurable erections.

When I told my mum and sister about the wonders I learn in school my mum said 'And that's why I love Greek Myths'.
I don't really know how I feel about that. I suspect my mother is awesome.

Tomorrow i'm going to pottery and i'm really enjoying it lately. I find myself thinking about it during the week quite a bit and getting pretty excited for Friday. No doubt I will post more photos on here soon.

I have a sneaking suspicion that i'm becoming pretty boring with my pottery, I keep forcing people to look at it. I'm winning on two front because usually i'm just grabbing their smart phones and am showing them photos on this blog. That way I plug my blog, show them my pottery and later, when I check my blog stats I can pretend i've actually had '5 VIEWS TODAY!'.

...ahem.

I've had an internal conference and i've decided I'm allowed to talk as much about pottery on my blog as I want because it is my blog and you can all go do something else if you don't want to be reading this.

Oh, you know what else is awesome and new in my life? Pilates. I can barely walk after wednesdays class and even if I am not looking like the crazy fit sexy muscle ladies that do pilates, I can pretty much guarantee my hip flexors are the most cramped, and therefore strong (?) hip flexors in the world.

Pilates lady, you've made me discover and vigourously work on a piece of my body that I didn't even really ever take any notice of before. Next class, can we work on a more relevant part of my body...like ANY other part of my body?

Thank you,

Nani x

Trying to live my life in a way that adheres to Yin and Yang. Yes, seriously.

I've been reading this anxiety book that Fabian gave to me and I'm surprisingly finding it to be quite good.

For as long as I've been studying I've been unable to sleep well. My thoughts don't seem to want to turn off and I often find myself getting angry that I'm lying awake in bed when I could be awake and sitting at my desk getting assignments done. I go through all the things I should be doing in my mind, I make lists of the things I will do once I get out of bed. I worry about the assignments I have due in, about how close the end of semester is - which always spells e.x.a.m.s to me.

I'm finding some of the ideas in the book fit in pretty well with the way I think and today, for the first time in a really long time, I was able to have a much needed sleep during the day. It happened while I was reading the book in bed and I realised, as I often do, that I was tired. I simply put the book down thought about what I'd just read and fell asleep.

JUST. LIKE. THAT.

It's got me thinking about why my body doesn't like to sleep during the day and I realised I already knew the answers thanks to my schooling.

It's all about Yin and Yang and the cycles our bodies naturally follow, the cycles that we as a society have decided to shit all over.

See, if I respected Yin time, then I wouldn't be tired during the day and I wouldn't have the dilemma of not being able to sleep in the afternoons in the first place. Get it? Maybe not.

In order to best explain myself I should probably go over what Yin time is. Yin time, my little non-Chinese-medicine-educated darlings, is when it gets dark.

Basically, when it gets dark it's Yin time and we should respect all things Yin and try and be as Yin as possible. By Yin, I mean, as opposed to Yang. Remember Yin/Yang? Yeah, I actually study that at uni.

So, Yin is...everything soft, quiet, still, sleep, dark, feminine, the negative force in nature, moon, night time, cold and well...I can't keep going because everything in the world can be classified as either Yin or Yang and I just don't have time for that.

(As a little educational note: Consider what the opposites of the above listed things are. They are the Yang counter-parts: loud, movement, awake/energised, masculine, the positive force in nature, sun, heat etc. Are you more a Yin person or a Yang person?)

Anyway, when it's night time it's the body's natural time to become more Yin. You're meant to slow down your life, stop using your brain, dim the lights, turn off the TV or laptop (told you I was failing at Yin time) and start easing yourself into sleep. Do things slowly, be kind and gentle with yourself. Music should be low and peaceful and it's time to be meditative and reflective and slow. You should eventually slide into bed already peaceful and half asleep.

I think it's obvious, now that you know about Yin and Yang, that Yang time is the opposite, right? It starts when the sun rises (not at 11am when I rise...oh great, now I'm failing at yang time too) and it's the time for movement and energetic everything. I spend too much time on my arse inside a building during Yang time. I know society demands it but I don't do much to fight it.

So that's my next challenge, I'm going to try and adhere to Yin and Yang time a little more. I recommend everyone try it. Stop sitting on your arse, get up, get moving - use the natural energy of the universe and make it work for you.

You'll feel better for it, or so Traditional Chinese medical theory states.

Now if I can manage to do it myself, I won't feel like a hypocrite telling everyone else to do it...so good Yang time, it's time to switch off the laptop.

Nani x

Slightly serious business here people

My friend Ash, who had a stroke with some horrifying effects, including dying and coming back to life, 60 days ago is out of rehab and is home.

Today he replied to my txt message and I bawled like a baby.



Welcome home Ash. We've missed you, so, so much.

<3 Nani

Damn you beautiful 6 foot vampires, damn you to hell.

Fucking hell.

I don't know if I blogged about it when over a month ago I made a royal fuck-up of a date night I had planned for Fabian and I?

Basically, sometime in July I bought tickets to see Dylan Moran and then made this big fuss of making a surprise date for Fabian where I reserved this nice restaurant and while we were there I presented him with tickets to Dylan Moran.

As he was inspecting the tickets, I snatched them out of his hands and yelled 'STOP LOOKING AT THE PRICE!' Which he wasn't, but i'm unhinged - so anyway, after dinner I drive us to the Palais Theatre.

Fabian: It looks pretty dark Nani...are you sure it's on tonight?

Me: Yes, silly. Of course. See *points to big promotional poster stuck to a totally dark theatre* it says it right there. Saturday 10th September.

Fabian: It's not September. Or the 10th.

Apparently, this is why I should let Fabian check the tickets before snatching them out of his hands and shouting.

Then we drove home and it was all going to be okay because we got to have TWO nice date nights, right?

WRONG.

Today my sister calls me and asks me if I wanted to go see Allan Ball do an interview. To which I responded *'Sure! Why not? What else could I possibly have to do on this lovely evening of September the 10th? Nothing! Nothing at all! It's not like I have tickets to something hilarious, I'll be there!'

Allan Ball, by the way, wrote American Beauty, 6 feet under and True Blood.

It was really good, he's funny, kind of inspiring, it was all going well until I got a horrible feeling in my stomach and it dawned on me that knowing my luck, today was the 10th.

It is.


The upside to today (other than the fact that I got to see an awesome talk instead of awesome comedy? FML indeed)? I just got to Fabians and checked my facebook and there is a comment from my friend Nik telling me he has access to POST GRAD rooms at Monash (which I can only assume is an invite) AND he posted me the trailor to The Machine Gun Preacher because he knows I slide off of my chair at most things Gerard Butler related.

Oh, I can't even believe how gross that last sentence was but ...deal with it people.

Anyway, thanks to Nik for making up for the fact that my boyfriend won't let me in his honours room and a massive thank you to my sister for thinking of me and taking me to a great talk and for pointing out the very true fact that at least I was at Allan Ball and not sitting on my thumb at home.

A saying which, by the way, I initially mistook to mean some weird form of masturbation and it made me reassess the view I thought my sister had of me, until she explained it means 'doing nothing'.

Ah.

I just found the Dylan Moran Yeah Yeah DVD for $20, that's the show he's doing tonight. It's not out until November, but I am going to get it and that is going to make me feel a lot better.

And the talk really was quite good and had been sold out for ages and I got to go for free because my sister is an important person.

Only VIP's get tiny dog minions they can control with their minds

*This may be a dramatic interpretation of what was actually said.

Apparently, you can call me Shell Head

Yesterday I went to Fabian's uni with him and I studied in the library while he worked on his honours project... in the magical honours room with all the other special honours people where I am not allowed to go and study even if I wanted to WHICH I DON'T SO STOP TALKING ABOUT THE HONOURS ROOM.

After uni a friend came over and we played Settlers of Catan and I WON BOTH TIMES (sorry, the capitals were just there as an attempt to make myself feel better for not being allowed in the honours room.)

I've only ever won that game 3 times, so that's pretty good. 2 in one day I mean. I mean, if there was an honours for being the most honourable winner of the game, then I would've gotten in yesterday.

Anyway.

Today I am back in the Deakin library, which is actually quite nice and I really like working here. (It's much nicer than being in some room full of smarty-pants', I mean imagine how crap that would be?!)

Before we came to uni though we went to the Chiropractor and while Fabian was having an adjustment I was trying to do something with my hair. See, it's very long at the moment.


At night I become a white shining eskimo.Obviously.

Anyway, it was super short a year or two ago - like almost shaved short. And I've just been letting it grow ever since because it was a horrible disaster. It was serving me very well for awhile there, but now it's too long. I always just bunch it ontop of my tiny head (which makes my head look even tinier) or I wear it down and it looks lank and weird and centre-part-y. Not party.

If there was a party on my head I wouldn't be complaining. Obviously.

While Fabian was at the Chiro I got bored and started looking at my reflection in the car rear-view mirror - as you do. Then I did a little bit of make-up putting on, some black head inspecting and then I found a big clip in my bag and I decided to do something 'fabulous' with my hair.

Fabian comes into the car and just says 'Nice hair, shell-head.'

Apparently, my attempt at glamourously wrapping my hair around my head resulted in me looking like a Guylian Shell. These are Guylian shells:



I don't know which one he was thinking of when he said that, best case scenario he's talking about the seahorse one.

Whipping out my phone I decided to take a photo of myself. A very embarassing thing to do when your phone is set to very loud and the camera clicking sound draws everyone's attention and there is a huge flash of light so everyone who turned around knows exactly who was taking a photo and then they all saw that it was me...and now everyone at Deakin library is thinking 'Wow, that weird shell head girl is taking photos of herself how lame.'

I can't help but think none of this would've happened had I been in the honours room.

Go figure the photo didn't even work.

Now thanks to Fabian's description, I can only assume that this is what I look like right now, in which case all the snoopy people in the library can't really blame me for taking photos of myself because I am AWESOME looking.


For all the people that don't actually know what I look like, or just can't remember - I usually look like the hot version of me on the right. Not the pale limpet looking version on the left.

Now I really should dedicate some time to Travis, a 24 year old male who is 6 ft 1 inch tall, right handed and whose blood pressure is 130/85 left arm seated.

(Travis is the case study i'm working on, not my secret boyfriend - just to clarify... Though he does sound kind of hot. I wouldn't post about my secret boyfriend on my blog though. I may not be allowed in the STUPID HONOURS ROOM but I'm still pretty smart. Obviously)

Nani x

They were pirates I tell you

I went to see my friend play a gig on Saturday night. It's the first time i've seen his band so when I was invited to go, though I usually pike as much as possible when it comes to seeing bands, I felt I really should go.

Not a mistake!

It was at the Brunswick town hall and it was a Vintage Variety night that had circus type acts, burlesque, boobs (thanks to the burlesque)and butts thanks to a dude that took his pants off oh...AND DID I MENTION THERE WERE PIRATES?!

My friend Ben is one of the pirates, his band is called Sforzando and they are the ochestra that would play on my pirate ship. They dress like pirates and totally bring the awesome.

I was not the only one dancing. Everyone was stomping their feet, linking arms and spinning in circles...it was wonderful unleash your inner awesome wench style music. Gypsy, folk, punk. I loved it!

I will post on here when their next gig is I trust you will be there and if you are a wonderful reader from overseas I will make sure to give you enough time to traverse the ocean in your ship to be here in time.

This is my friend, Pirate Ben:



Now that i've convinced you how great they are click the link for Sforzando.


Love Nani x

Vagina lightning, nail polish and sprouts!

The other day in class my teacher was describing the symptoms of Endometriosis and he said

'...will experience an intense sudden pain that will stop you in your tracks. Like being kicked by a horse.'

And I thought, 'Ooh! I know what that is! I have that because of my PCOS, a teacher explained to me once...'

So, I put up my hand and ask, 'is that like, tenesmus?' I was so proud for knowing the terminology. See I've been using this technical medical describing word for almost 2 years now to describe a pain that I used to refer to as Vagina Lightning.

Because it feels like Vagina Lightning - obviously.


Anyway...

Toby: No...tenesmus, as far as I know is the unbearable urge to defecate.'

Me: No it's not. It's a sharp pain that can radiate up the vagina or anus...it's blood stagnation is Chinese Medical terms.'

Toby: Nope. Pretty sure it's the unbearable urge to defecate.

At this stage, Toby get's google up instead of the slide show presentation he's been showing us and OH AND BEHOLD.


te·nes·mus definition
Pronunciation: /tə-ˈnez-məs/
Function: n
: a distressing but ineffectual urge to evacuate the rectum or urinary bladder


About an hour into the class I facebook my friend who's sitting next to me (because being on facebook while occasionally paying attention to your lecture is the only way to survive a 9pm class)

'Alie...it's only just starting to sink in that for 2 years i've been telling people I have an unbearable urge to poo.'

And the giggles began, uncontrollable, shoulder shaking laughter which of course we're trying to keep silent because we're two of only 7 people in that class. We had to make an emergency exit to collapse outside the room in peals of laughter.

Later I apologised to Toby and explained that I had only just realised that I had been telling people that I was having unbearable urges to poo, with a really serious face (because im in pain when it's happening people, it is freakin' vagina lighting after all.).

Toby: *laughing at me quite a lot* yeah, it's not just the unbearable urge to poo, it's the painful unbearable urge to poo.


Oh. My life.

To change the topic of how much of a total retard I am, here is my latest pottery stuff.


It's actually quite a deep bowl, but you can't tell from this picture...

And here are some...coasters? Set of tiles? Quartered placemat?



Oh! And on a totally different note, all my seeds are sprouting and i'm SO FREAKING EXCITED!! I'll post super boring photos of sprouts soon!

Love Nani xx

Libby

My friend Libby showed up at my house last night with flowers for me and a beautiful pen that reminded her of me because it's the same colour as my favourite jumper.

She knows which is my favourite jumper because she is a brilliant friend.

My friend Libby gets frightened that she is annoying me or that i'm losing interest in our friendship when I fall off the radar for a week or 2.

So she calls me and demands that I tell her if I am angry or annoyed and then usually shows up at my house and we have dinner and play a board game.

My friend Libby sends me texts that ask me if i'm loving the sunshine and if I am happy today.

She is frighteningly honest about how much she loves me and how much our friendship means to her and I hope she knows how highly I hold that in regard.

My friend Libby reads my blog and because she does she now knows she's one of my best friends.

Thank you for making me feel appreciated and loved and for not letting me become neglectful.



<3 Nani x