After our chat he turned around and faced me, naked, for 7 minutes.

So a few Saturday nights ago I went to Summer's hens night. It was very very much fun. I have never been to a hen's night before and I had only ever heard horrible, horrible things about them.

This was very different to what I expected.

Instead of going to the strippers we went to a life-drawing class. That kept the traditional naked man element but managed to make it classy. (Good work Nova!)

I had such a good time doing the drawing. I have to admit to when the guy took his pants off I was really glad he was facing away from me (we were in a circle, so some of the other girls got a look full frontal). I was much more comfortable with butt.

After we did our first few sets of pictures we all took a break and the model put on some rather small bonds underwear and chatted away with us all. Next thing I know, his attention is firmly fixed on talking to me about everything and anything (and I mean he barely paused for breath) and all the other girls have not so subtly run off to the other side of the room.

Thanks girls.

So, while I listened to him talk about his opera singing background, how he loves children and how now only sings for his church. I was trying really hard to ignore the fact that he was simultaneously playing with his nipples and trying to convince me to be the one to have children with him.*

*he may not have actually asked me to do that, but he totally had a crush on me and wanted my babies. If you don't believe me, keep reading.

Then we went back to the next round of drawing. This is when the man running the show told us we could spend 7 minutes focusing on detail for this new pose the model had struck.

As soon as he said that, model turned full frontal towards me, legs spread and hands on hips. I needed to spend a minute of two hiding behind my easel to compose myself at this stage.

Then he just kept talking and talking and it was really weird him complementing me on the rosary beads I was wearing while I was drawing his nakedness. Oh and also the fact that HIS PENIS WAS FACING ME. That was really weird too.

At the end of the session, he spent much time talking to me again and asked to smell my rosary beads, which I let him do but felt was super weird. This entire conversation was happening in front of my easel where I had taken the time to draw sack as well as penis by the way. Very embarrassing.

Then he said:

'I like your hair. What do you call it?'

This is where I decided my day had gotten too weird, and as I stood there trying to figure out if my answer should be 'Gregory' or 'Charles' he says:

'Brunette! I knew I'd remember it. How long is it?'

My hair was out so it was very obvious how long it was so I just pointed to where it, you know...ended, which seemed, i thought, the only answer I was capable of.

I left there with his card. It says-

Life model
Vocalist
Weddings
Funerals

At least I now know that there exists someone who will pose nude at my mothers funeral when the time comes. Thank god.

After everyone laughed at me a great deal we went and ate Mexican food which was SO good.

The end.

Oh fine, here's a photo.



Come on, You didn't think I'd post a picture of a naked dude on here did you? One the floor next to me you can see a picture of his bum. That's all you're getting. This isn't a pornography blog you know.

Love Nani x

[Review] Richard the III just wasn't Gross und Klein

I promised a review on Kevin Spacey's Richard the III and on Kate Blanchett's Gross und Klein.

Richard the III

As you all know this was the entire reason for my flying over to Sydney. I was very excited to see Kevin Spacey perform theatre. I had heard only good things about his on stage performances and Richard the III was a Shakespeare play I was unfamiliar with.

Sadly, it just didn't live up to what I thought it would.

Sam Mendes was directing and after his stellar collaboration with Spacey in American Beauty - one of my favourite films, I was expecting very much from them. The film was created on a low budget yet it was such a spectacle, the colours and the scenes were very big.

Unfortunately, this wasn't recreated in his adaptation of Richard the III. I don't think I can fault Spacey's performance as much as I think the direction and production was pretty lousy.

I had the sense that the people involved thought it would simply be enough to have Spacey there and that little other effort needed to be expended. This was enormously disappointing when I reflect on how massive their budget would have been and the potential this play had to be truly great.

The story is incredible and the script does so much of the work for the play. Unfortunately Spacey was pulling on what another reviewer described as 'cheap laughs' from the audience. He'd put a sarcastic note on a line and the crowd would be rolling in the aisles laughing. It was a little embarrassing to be amongst such a grateful crowd. It also didn't do Spacey any favours; the script is already funny without conveying the lines as though to an audience of children.

Predictably enough, it was the Kevin Spacey show. None of the other characters were well developed enough throughout the play for the audience to form any loyalty or bond with them, so when inevitably Richard the III does away with them, we didn't really care. This was a big fail, Richard the III revolves enough around Richard as the central character for everyone to get their fill of Spacey, I feel as though more time could have been dedicated to the other characters/actors.

Though perhaps when I say 'more time' I ought to bite my tongue. The production went for 3.5 hours. Easily at least an hour too long. Beginning at 8pm we were leaving the theatre close to midnight and we'll past the time I’d like to be in bed curled up with a book, it was a real effort to hold my concentration.

With great empathy for the actors I also need to mention that there were no microphones. This wouldn't be an ordeal for such wonderful actors as were there that night, had the play not lasted so long, not to mention it was in a theatre that held 2000 people. When there were scenes which involved shouting much of the language was lost to the hoarse shouting of the cast. They were done a great injustice for no reason.

When it was finally over our little group of 4 seemed to be the only ones not giving a standing ovation. I again felt embarrassed to be surrounded by people who were just drooling over seeing Spacey live, who were so star struck that they were too blinded to see that the play they just watched was below par.

As we left everyone was gushing, one theatre goer remarked 'Well! That was certainly an experience!’ I have to agree, it's the first time in my life that I've almost fallen asleep during a play.

When talking to my mum and some friends of hers later I realised without knowing it they were describing the play perfectly. They have Serbian accents and they sometimes pronounce 'th' as 't' and thus Richard the Third became...'Richard the Turd'. A wonderfully succinct way to summarise the way I felt about the whole thing.

Gross und Klein review to come.

Nani x

Kevin Spacey, Picasso and crab merangue, what more could i ask for?

I am writing this on a ipad, which makes me very happy indeed, and the i pad that i am 'typing' on is in Sydney, which of course means that i am also in Sydney...i guess it could also mean that i have extremely long arms, but no, i got here to the i pad by plane. *shudder*.

Anyway i did not come to sydney to play on an. Pad, though this is so much fun that its something i will consider doing in te future.

Please excuse all the spelling and grammar mistakes on here, i have hardly any idea how to use thing thing.

So, begin again Nani!

I am in Sydney and I came here with my Sister and Luke (i dont know why sister is capitalised, that is not actually her name and i dont know how to go back and erase just one letter!) to watch Kevin Spacey in Richard III, then I went to the Picasso exhibit and now im staying with my family friend/aunty who is a ceramic artist and im doing a little bit f pottery here AND tonight i'm going to see Cate Blanchett in Gross und Klein tonight. What a week away!

I will have proper reviews on the plays that i'll post on here...for now, that's all!

Nani x

My strawberries have come and gone, Get with the program.

It has been ages! Hello blogosphere!

I am currently sitting at Deakin uni and I am so excited. So so so much has happened to me lately and I have been feeling very happy.

Since we last spoke, I have finished exams, discovered a gall bladder full of stones, realised even my liver was fat, have made a gigantic change in my diet and exercise regime, have cleaned my entire upstairs, watched my strawberries ripen then die because I wasn't allowed to eat them, and, AND, AND JUST NOW THIS VERY PAST HOUR.

I may have stumbled upon something quite great.

A job, a job that I wasn't even really looking for. A job, that were it not advertised as 3 days a week I would have just wistfully looked at and dismissed.

But it is. Advertised as 3 days a week that is. $40,000. And it involves doing something I think I'd be really really good at about a cause I'm pretty passionate about.

This puts me in a bit of an excited dilemma. Do I go for this job, that there is a relatively high chance I won't get because I don't quite fit all the criteria. Where I will have to juggle my final year of uni, probably take on 2 summer school subjects just to have the time to breathe and maybe LOVE IT...

or

Do I play it safe, let this one pass and really focus on school and doing well and not risk doing a shitty job about something I care about that is a 14 month contract.

Bah!

Let me ruminate for a while.

Here are some strawberries.



Oh and here is my friend Lorelei's blog to amuse you while I think on my dilemma, she's amazing.

First peach of the summer

I fell down a flight of stairs at my uni on Wednesday and I've been sitting here for days wishing i'd be back to normal and mourning all the things I could be doing instead of being flat on my back.

Currently the thing I should be doing is playing indoor soccer - though my team may actually have a chance of winning now that i'm indisposed.

Also some Star Trek would really be ideal now but I promised Fabian that we'd watch it together so I can't go ahead.

It's one of those wierd silver lining things where something usually happens to me around exam time that forces me to stay at home and do not much other than study. I had my chrons flare up last time and it's usually my catch-a-flu time when exams are on the horizon.

It forces me to study but also stops me from stressing too much cause life happens to be in perspective.

Today was spent studying with Alie. It went surprisingly well and because it's the end of the year we just aren't feeling the same amount of urgency we were experiencing when first semester exams came to a head. I just...don't care much.

I mean, I care enough to be studying a lot but not enough to be really stressed about it - and that seems to be working in my favour.

I got some new things out of the kiln on Friday which was exciting as usual, but I can't post them on here because they're gifts and the intended gift recipients both read my blog! Aren't they lovely (the readers I mean, not the invisible pottery)? See what happens when you read my blog? Good things happen.

Today I ate my first peach of the summer and it made me really happy like only fruit can.

OH! Speaking of summer and happiness - I was watching Star Trek on my computer the other night when I realised that in the scene 2 out of 4 of the characters were positioned that their phasers (futuristic guns, duh) looked like massive erections. That's 50% phaser erection in one scene. 70's Star Trek is just too risque sometimes.

I immediately thought of my friend Summer (Don't ask, I couldn't possibly go into how my brain connected the two) and rewound so I could take a printscreen.

TADA!

Data and Jordi with phaser erections

You're welcome Summer.

<3 Nani

A giant moth pee'd on me.

A giant moth pee'd on me. Well, I can't be 100% it was pee, but it was clear and smelled really terrible. See it was just lounging on my bathroom wall and when I opened the door to go and have a shower it freaked and escaped out the window - dropping it's pee on me as it went.

Fabian suggested perhaps it was giant moth semen, but seeing as I was naked (about to get into the shower) I am vehemently going to deny it was semen because that would mean i'd had a sexual encounter with a giant moth. Not on my life to do list.

Do I hear you asking what is on my life to do list? Oh, something awesome, you know, perhaps like watching The Lion King in 3D, or something.

DONE! Woo! I'm kicking this lists ass! I've SEEN The Lion King in 3D!

The other night Fab and I went and watched it and it was fantastic and hilarious and freaking GORGEOUS. There were no children in the theatre which initially I thought was odd. At the end when the lights went on I saw there were only 8 couples there who were all our age and then I realised that actually I fall into the 'lame young couple' category and not the 'children' category anymore.

No it did not make me feel lame, or infantile. And why yes I did feel a special solidarity with those people - don't judge me.

I haven't updated in awhile because I simply haven't had the brain space for anything. Next week is my last week of classes and i've managed to hand in and finish all but 2 of my assignments. Perhaps the idea of finishing 11/13 should make me happy, but i'm in crisis mode because there are still 2 to go.

Last night I went and had dinner with my little cousin and we went and watched her big sister in a play she's created. I'll blog about it later, but I had a great night. Dinner with Val and a play will always be more fun that the pathology class I skipped!!

Now, because it's only 10.34am I am going to get off my computer and hop back into bed to read my current fantasy novel - I said don't judging me.

Then I am off to pottery (seriously, stop judging me now.) to see if my latest experiment has worked!! I hope so!

Love Nani xx

I think I need a muzzle

Lately I have been getting myself into situations where I get really worked up and defensive. I go to the extreme of contacting the head of faculty or of threatening to report someone to the registration board of their work place.

Then, after it's all cooled down, I look back and go:

'Oh fuck.'

I feel like i'm split in two. With much gusto I go and get shit done and make sure I stand up for myself and crush everyone in my path and I do whats RIGHT.

But then, I let the criticisms or uncertainties of others get me down and question my decisions and I feel like wimping out and wishing I hadn't put into place the irreversable motions I had earlier in the day.

I wish I was one or the other and not torn between the two. As mum pointed out to me yesterday I can't have a 'fuck you' attitude and care what people think at the same time.

I don't know if this is the right way to go about doing things, but I do know that it's better than the alternative which is more the approach i'd been taking the past few years.

I'd notice something was wrong, it would make me angry etc. I would feel and think the rage i'm experiencing now but in reality I'd do nothing, or i'd do something really half assed. Then the time for action would pass but you know what wouldn't pass?

The regret of not having done what I thought was right, for not having stood up for myself or others. I'd hold on to these events for way longer than they deserved, fantasising about what I wish i'd said or done.

Even if doing things this way isn't quite the solution, it's closer to the mark than what I was doing before. And for now, I guess I should take comfort in that and try to learn from my mistakes.

Nani x

A plague of ducklings

[Updated because I was critisised that this post seemed too rushed.]

Today I had a really special day. Fabian took me on a date to the zoo, this might not sound that special but I've wanted to go to the zoo for 2 years since Mali the baby elephant was born - so it was pretty spectacular to get to go on a day and gorgeous as today was.

We did see the baby elephants (see after Mali was born, by some crazy luck another one 'Ongard' was born too - so now there are 2 babies at the zoo!) which are still small and one even drank milk from it's mum, which was surreal because I don't know why, but it never occured to me that elephants suckled and it was adorable.

While the elephants were showing off and being adorable and posing for photos (because they are completely aware that they are spectacular and that humans love them), Fab pointed to their watering hole which was being ignored for now. In the watering hole there was 1 mama duck and at least 15 ducklings that were joyously and somewhat naughtily swimming the expanse of the watering hole, they looked liberated and slightly mischevious as they swam in water that wasn't theirs. I have never seen so many ducklings and when Fabian said they were 'a plague of ducklings' I couldn't imagine a better kind of plague and the idea of it is still making me quite happy.

I wasn't that into the big cats because the size of the enclosure just seemed to be way too small. They all looked bored and too skinny so we moved on from them pretty fast. There were beautiful pelicans and a golden monkey that I can't remember the real name of - I found myself really appreciating animals I never really paid attention to before.

Oh and something completely cool happened in the butterfly house, It's not usually a display I like that much because it's so dense and humid in there but this time just as we were near the exit Fabian told me to stop moving and whipped out the camera:

Why yes, there IS a butterfly on my hat

Oh, and want to read about something infinately cooler than the butterfly on my head? Yeah - I bet you didn't think it got much cooler than that but it does.

There were turtles everywhere today and they were out in full force because of the weather. They were floating/swimming incredibly slowly on the very top of the water so their shells just peeked over the top of the surface. It must have been warm in the top few cm of water I guess.

Anyway, they were really stealthy because their shells are a really similar colour to the water they were in and every now and then we'd be looking at a bird or something else in the water when we'd spot a random turtle completely in sight that we'd been missing while staring right at it.

The turtles being out and about isn't the cool bit, the cool bit is this: we were eating icecream on the steps leading to the pond in the Japanese garden watching what we thought was only a lot of duck when, in typical turtle stealth style, about 10 meters from us appeared a turtle.

As we watched and admired it, the turtle slowly started to rotate on the spot until it was facing us, then, much to our delight, it started to float in our direction.

It very slowly swam right up to us, lifted its head out of the water and gazed at us for a few minutes. It was about 10 cm from where our feet were hanging and we couldn't believe it. It was so strange, like it had seen us and decided we were worth checking out.

When it slowly swam away Fabian remarked 'Do you think it just blessed us with 20 years good luck or what?' Which prompted us to remember the giant turtles in Vietnam and how lucky they are. They are considered to bring amazing luck and blessing to anyone who even sees one. So we promised if the turtle came back we'd drop a coin into the pond to respect the turtle god.

You may not believe this next bit, but I swear it's true. As soon as we made the pact, the turtle, which was a good 15 meters away from by us by then, slowly turned around and started swimming at us again and came so close to us that Fabian was able to put a 10c coin actually ontop of it's shell while it quietly stared at us.

It was totally amazing.

To end my pretty perfect day I just came home and managed to plant some strawberry plants and water my garden while there was still a little bit of day light left.

My gorgeous strawberry plants

Now i'm feeling happier than I have in a long time, i'm sitting with my laptop in my beautiful house listening to Missy Higgins. She always reminds me of Fabian and I feel i'm so lucky to have someone to love me so much and take me to the zoo and teach me to garden.

<3 N xx

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And by 'the boys' I mean 'the jiggle' and by 'to the yard' I mean to my wonderful bottom...



The passed week or so has been hardcore study time. Fabian has his Literature Review for honours due tomorrow and that means that we've been locked in doors for most of the day each day.

I am locked in voluntarily. I like being there as a support and to read over new paragraphs and to bring him (and myself) cake when times get tough and brains melt. Speaking of cake, check out Zoe's latest creation:

It's an AZTEC cake she made for her partner, Ryan...(it was his birthday the other night, that post will come later!)



I've been eating a lot of that aztec goodness since Sunday and I am a sincere advocat that sugar is good for you. I am also certain I'll have to delete this blog when I finish uni and start practising.

Don't be fooled into thinking that all i've been doing this past week is eating cake and drinking milkshakes, ho-no! I've also been doing work. See 5 out of my 7 subjects (which is a crazy amount by the way) have no exam this semester.

This is the kind of information that makes me immensly pleased, see I am a big big hater of exams and a mega lover of assignments. However, this means I do indeed have assignments this semester.

13 to be precise. Luckily for me, I've handed in a whoping 2 of those and have entirely completed a 3rd.

What i've done this week is start and do some work on 8 of those. There are only 2 I haven't touched yet, but that's only because I'm not a superwoman and mainly I blame it on a lack of milkshakes.

Still, i'm totally kicking ass.

Now that i've blown my horn a lot i'm off to continue working on one of the 8 that are in progress.

Love Nani x

At least I'm warm in my big fake fur blanket

So here I am wearing my own socks and not some of Fabians. See, this is a pretty exciting deal because apparently i'm infamous for stealing his socks. Oh, and then I apparently lose them and forcing the OCD-darling to wear mis-matched ones is a crime beyond comprehension.

My comprehension that is.

So, every now and then Fabian has a hiss at me about not having any socks and I go out and buy him 10 pairs (and myself a whole bunch so I can stop taking his.) Technically, when I steal and lose his socks it's not so bad seeing as they were gifts from me anyway.

I was sitting here, right in this very spot about 30 minutes ago when I said: 'Darling, do you think I can wear some of your socks? Just while I'm sitting here. I promise I won't take them home.'

That is the kind of trick-foolery i've had to resort to in order to get some warmers for my feet. Horrible stuff.

Off he goes, because he is a loving man (and also he doesn't like it when my giant size 10 feet are ice blocks because, obviously, those are big areas of cold I could put on him while he's trying to sleep.)

He comes back and tries to give me these wierd checkerboard socks that belong to no-one and live in the odd sock drawer. No deal Fabian. Try again.

He comes back and tries to give me a pair of his that reach halfway to my knees and feel like those iron sponge things you use to clean the dishes. No thanks Fabian. Try again.

FINALLY he returns with what I requested which was 'Some socks that are yours and that are preferably those nice fuzzy black ankle ones I got you, but any black ankle ones will do'.

And, you won't bloody believe it. THEY WERE MINE! Ha! Who is stealing whose socks NOW MR. FABIAN?!

They are 100% mine and they are on my feet and they are mine to lose guilt free.

Take that.

Nani x

Owls

I just ate a really delicious Froghurt. Frozen Yoghurt. I don't even know if i'm spelling that correctly. Frog-hurt. Oh, now I feel mean. And am also fantasising about the kid that plays Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter films.

In other news, this is what I've learnt from my class tonight:

Priapus is the greek god of erections. Priapism is a persistent, non pleasurable erection.

I like how they tried to make it sound casual by talking about a Greek God first. Thank god they softened that blow, cause lord knows how i'd deal with it if my lecturer started my class with talk of persistent, non pleasurable erections.

When I told my mum and sister about the wonders I learn in school my mum said 'And that's why I love Greek Myths'.
I don't really know how I feel about that. I suspect my mother is awesome.

Tomorrow i'm going to pottery and i'm really enjoying it lately. I find myself thinking about it during the week quite a bit and getting pretty excited for Friday. No doubt I will post more photos on here soon.

I have a sneaking suspicion that i'm becoming pretty boring with my pottery, I keep forcing people to look at it. I'm winning on two front because usually i'm just grabbing their smart phones and am showing them photos on this blog. That way I plug my blog, show them my pottery and later, when I check my blog stats I can pretend i've actually had '5 VIEWS TODAY!'.

...ahem.

I've had an internal conference and i've decided I'm allowed to talk as much about pottery on my blog as I want because it is my blog and you can all go do something else if you don't want to be reading this.

Oh, you know what else is awesome and new in my life? Pilates. I can barely walk after wednesdays class and even if I am not looking like the crazy fit sexy muscle ladies that do pilates, I can pretty much guarantee my hip flexors are the most cramped, and therefore strong (?) hip flexors in the world.

Pilates lady, you've made me discover and vigourously work on a piece of my body that I didn't even really ever take any notice of before. Next class, can we work on a more relevant part of my body...like ANY other part of my body?

Thank you,

Nani x

Trying to live my life in a way that adheres to Yin and Yang. Yes, seriously.

I've been reading this anxiety book that Fabian gave to me and I'm surprisingly finding it to be quite good.

For as long as I've been studying I've been unable to sleep well. My thoughts don't seem to want to turn off and I often find myself getting angry that I'm lying awake in bed when I could be awake and sitting at my desk getting assignments done. I go through all the things I should be doing in my mind, I make lists of the things I will do once I get out of bed. I worry about the assignments I have due in, about how close the end of semester is - which always spells e.x.a.m.s to me.

I'm finding some of the ideas in the book fit in pretty well with the way I think and today, for the first time in a really long time, I was able to have a much needed sleep during the day. It happened while I was reading the book in bed and I realised, as I often do, that I was tired. I simply put the book down thought about what I'd just read and fell asleep.

JUST. LIKE. THAT.

It's got me thinking about why my body doesn't like to sleep during the day and I realised I already knew the answers thanks to my schooling.

It's all about Yin and Yang and the cycles our bodies naturally follow, the cycles that we as a society have decided to shit all over.

See, if I respected Yin time, then I wouldn't be tired during the day and I wouldn't have the dilemma of not being able to sleep in the afternoons in the first place. Get it? Maybe not.

In order to best explain myself I should probably go over what Yin time is. Yin time, my little non-Chinese-medicine-educated darlings, is when it gets dark.

Basically, when it gets dark it's Yin time and we should respect all things Yin and try and be as Yin as possible. By Yin, I mean, as opposed to Yang. Remember Yin/Yang? Yeah, I actually study that at uni.

So, Yin is...everything soft, quiet, still, sleep, dark, feminine, the negative force in nature, moon, night time, cold and well...I can't keep going because everything in the world can be classified as either Yin or Yang and I just don't have time for that.

(As a little educational note: Consider what the opposites of the above listed things are. They are the Yang counter-parts: loud, movement, awake/energised, masculine, the positive force in nature, sun, heat etc. Are you more a Yin person or a Yang person?)

Anyway, when it's night time it's the body's natural time to become more Yin. You're meant to slow down your life, stop using your brain, dim the lights, turn off the TV or laptop (told you I was failing at Yin time) and start easing yourself into sleep. Do things slowly, be kind and gentle with yourself. Music should be low and peaceful and it's time to be meditative and reflective and slow. You should eventually slide into bed already peaceful and half asleep.

I think it's obvious, now that you know about Yin and Yang, that Yang time is the opposite, right? It starts when the sun rises (not at 11am when I rise...oh great, now I'm failing at yang time too) and it's the time for movement and energetic everything. I spend too much time on my arse inside a building during Yang time. I know society demands it but I don't do much to fight it.

So that's my next challenge, I'm going to try and adhere to Yin and Yang time a little more. I recommend everyone try it. Stop sitting on your arse, get up, get moving - use the natural energy of the universe and make it work for you.

You'll feel better for it, or so Traditional Chinese medical theory states.

Now if I can manage to do it myself, I won't feel like a hypocrite telling everyone else to do it...so good Yang time, it's time to switch off the laptop.

Nani x

Slightly serious business here people

My friend Ash, who had a stroke with some horrifying effects, including dying and coming back to life, 60 days ago is out of rehab and is home.

Today he replied to my txt message and I bawled like a baby.



Welcome home Ash. We've missed you, so, so much.

<3 Nani

Damn you beautiful 6 foot vampires, damn you to hell.

Fucking hell.

I don't know if I blogged about it when over a month ago I made a royal fuck-up of a date night I had planned for Fabian and I?

Basically, sometime in July I bought tickets to see Dylan Moran and then made this big fuss of making a surprise date for Fabian where I reserved this nice restaurant and while we were there I presented him with tickets to Dylan Moran.

As he was inspecting the tickets, I snatched them out of his hands and yelled 'STOP LOOKING AT THE PRICE!' Which he wasn't, but i'm unhinged - so anyway, after dinner I drive us to the Palais Theatre.

Fabian: It looks pretty dark Nani...are you sure it's on tonight?

Me: Yes, silly. Of course. See *points to big promotional poster stuck to a totally dark theatre* it says it right there. Saturday 10th September.

Fabian: It's not September. Or the 10th.

Apparently, this is why I should let Fabian check the tickets before snatching them out of his hands and shouting.

Then we drove home and it was all going to be okay because we got to have TWO nice date nights, right?

WRONG.

Today my sister calls me and asks me if I wanted to go see Allan Ball do an interview. To which I responded *'Sure! Why not? What else could I possibly have to do on this lovely evening of September the 10th? Nothing! Nothing at all! It's not like I have tickets to something hilarious, I'll be there!'

Allan Ball, by the way, wrote American Beauty, 6 feet under and True Blood.

It was really good, he's funny, kind of inspiring, it was all going well until I got a horrible feeling in my stomach and it dawned on me that knowing my luck, today was the 10th.

It is.


The upside to today (other than the fact that I got to see an awesome talk instead of awesome comedy? FML indeed)? I just got to Fabians and checked my facebook and there is a comment from my friend Nik telling me he has access to POST GRAD rooms at Monash (which I can only assume is an invite) AND he posted me the trailor to The Machine Gun Preacher because he knows I slide off of my chair at most things Gerard Butler related.

Oh, I can't even believe how gross that last sentence was but ...deal with it people.

Anyway, thanks to Nik for making up for the fact that my boyfriend won't let me in his honours room and a massive thank you to my sister for thinking of me and taking me to a great talk and for pointing out the very true fact that at least I was at Allan Ball and not sitting on my thumb at home.

A saying which, by the way, I initially mistook to mean some weird form of masturbation and it made me reassess the view I thought my sister had of me, until she explained it means 'doing nothing'.

Ah.

I just found the Dylan Moran Yeah Yeah DVD for $20, that's the show he's doing tonight. It's not out until November, but I am going to get it and that is going to make me feel a lot better.

And the talk really was quite good and had been sold out for ages and I got to go for free because my sister is an important person.

Only VIP's get tiny dog minions they can control with their minds

*This may be a dramatic interpretation of what was actually said.

Apparently, you can call me Shell Head

Yesterday I went to Fabian's uni with him and I studied in the library while he worked on his honours project... in the magical honours room with all the other special honours people where I am not allowed to go and study even if I wanted to WHICH I DON'T SO STOP TALKING ABOUT THE HONOURS ROOM.

After uni a friend came over and we played Settlers of Catan and I WON BOTH TIMES (sorry, the capitals were just there as an attempt to make myself feel better for not being allowed in the honours room.)

I've only ever won that game 3 times, so that's pretty good. 2 in one day I mean. I mean, if there was an honours for being the most honourable winner of the game, then I would've gotten in yesterday.

Anyway.

Today I am back in the Deakin library, which is actually quite nice and I really like working here. (It's much nicer than being in some room full of smarty-pants', I mean imagine how crap that would be?!)

Before we came to uni though we went to the Chiropractor and while Fabian was having an adjustment I was trying to do something with my hair. See, it's very long at the moment.


At night I become a white shining eskimo.Obviously.

Anyway, it was super short a year or two ago - like almost shaved short. And I've just been letting it grow ever since because it was a horrible disaster. It was serving me very well for awhile there, but now it's too long. I always just bunch it ontop of my tiny head (which makes my head look even tinier) or I wear it down and it looks lank and weird and centre-part-y. Not party.

If there was a party on my head I wouldn't be complaining. Obviously.

While Fabian was at the Chiro I got bored and started looking at my reflection in the car rear-view mirror - as you do. Then I did a little bit of make-up putting on, some black head inspecting and then I found a big clip in my bag and I decided to do something 'fabulous' with my hair.

Fabian comes into the car and just says 'Nice hair, shell-head.'

Apparently, my attempt at glamourously wrapping my hair around my head resulted in me looking like a Guylian Shell. These are Guylian shells:



I don't know which one he was thinking of when he said that, best case scenario he's talking about the seahorse one.

Whipping out my phone I decided to take a photo of myself. A very embarassing thing to do when your phone is set to very loud and the camera clicking sound draws everyone's attention and there is a huge flash of light so everyone who turned around knows exactly who was taking a photo and then they all saw that it was me...and now everyone at Deakin library is thinking 'Wow, that weird shell head girl is taking photos of herself how lame.'

I can't help but think none of this would've happened had I been in the honours room.

Go figure the photo didn't even work.

Now thanks to Fabian's description, I can only assume that this is what I look like right now, in which case all the snoopy people in the library can't really blame me for taking photos of myself because I am AWESOME looking.


For all the people that don't actually know what I look like, or just can't remember - I usually look like the hot version of me on the right. Not the pale limpet looking version on the left.

Now I really should dedicate some time to Travis, a 24 year old male who is 6 ft 1 inch tall, right handed and whose blood pressure is 130/85 left arm seated.

(Travis is the case study i'm working on, not my secret boyfriend - just to clarify... Though he does sound kind of hot. I wouldn't post about my secret boyfriend on my blog though. I may not be allowed in the STUPID HONOURS ROOM but I'm still pretty smart. Obviously)

Nani x

They were pirates I tell you

I went to see my friend play a gig on Saturday night. It's the first time i've seen his band so when I was invited to go, though I usually pike as much as possible when it comes to seeing bands, I felt I really should go.

Not a mistake!

It was at the Brunswick town hall and it was a Vintage Variety night that had circus type acts, burlesque, boobs (thanks to the burlesque)and butts thanks to a dude that took his pants off oh...AND DID I MENTION THERE WERE PIRATES?!

My friend Ben is one of the pirates, his band is called Sforzando and they are the ochestra that would play on my pirate ship. They dress like pirates and totally bring the awesome.

I was not the only one dancing. Everyone was stomping their feet, linking arms and spinning in circles...it was wonderful unleash your inner awesome wench style music. Gypsy, folk, punk. I loved it!

I will post on here when their next gig is I trust you will be there and if you are a wonderful reader from overseas I will make sure to give you enough time to traverse the ocean in your ship to be here in time.

This is my friend, Pirate Ben:



Now that i've convinced you how great they are click the link for Sforzando.


Love Nani x

Vagina lightning, nail polish and sprouts!

The other day in class my teacher was describing the symptoms of Endometriosis and he said

'...will experience an intense sudden pain that will stop you in your tracks. Like being kicked by a horse.'

And I thought, 'Ooh! I know what that is! I have that because of my PCOS, a teacher explained to me once...'

So, I put up my hand and ask, 'is that like, tenesmus?' I was so proud for knowing the terminology. See I've been using this technical medical describing word for almost 2 years now to describe a pain that I used to refer to as Vagina Lightning.

Because it feels like Vagina Lightning - obviously.


Anyway...

Toby: No...tenesmus, as far as I know is the unbearable urge to defecate.'

Me: No it's not. It's a sharp pain that can radiate up the vagina or anus...it's blood stagnation is Chinese Medical terms.'

Toby: Nope. Pretty sure it's the unbearable urge to defecate.

At this stage, Toby get's google up instead of the slide show presentation he's been showing us and OH AND BEHOLD.


te·nes·mus definition
Pronunciation: /tə-ˈnez-məs/
Function: n
: a distressing but ineffectual urge to evacuate the rectum or urinary bladder


About an hour into the class I facebook my friend who's sitting next to me (because being on facebook while occasionally paying attention to your lecture is the only way to survive a 9pm class)

'Alie...it's only just starting to sink in that for 2 years i've been telling people I have an unbearable urge to poo.'

And the giggles began, uncontrollable, shoulder shaking laughter which of course we're trying to keep silent because we're two of only 7 people in that class. We had to make an emergency exit to collapse outside the room in peals of laughter.

Later I apologised to Toby and explained that I had only just realised that I had been telling people that I was having unbearable urges to poo, with a really serious face (because im in pain when it's happening people, it is freakin' vagina lighting after all.).

Toby: *laughing at me quite a lot* yeah, it's not just the unbearable urge to poo, it's the painful unbearable urge to poo.


Oh. My life.

To change the topic of how much of a total retard I am, here is my latest pottery stuff.


It's actually quite a deep bowl, but you can't tell from this picture...

And here are some...coasters? Set of tiles? Quartered placemat?



Oh! And on a totally different note, all my seeds are sprouting and i'm SO FREAKING EXCITED!! I'll post super boring photos of sprouts soon!

Love Nani xx

Libby

My friend Libby showed up at my house last night with flowers for me and a beautiful pen that reminded her of me because it's the same colour as my favourite jumper.

She knows which is my favourite jumper because she is a brilliant friend.

My friend Libby gets frightened that she is annoying me or that i'm losing interest in our friendship when I fall off the radar for a week or 2.

So she calls me and demands that I tell her if I am angry or annoyed and then usually shows up at my house and we have dinner and play a board game.

My friend Libby sends me texts that ask me if i'm loving the sunshine and if I am happy today.

She is frighteningly honest about how much she loves me and how much our friendship means to her and I hope she knows how highly I hold that in regard.

My friend Libby reads my blog and because she does she now knows she's one of my best friends.

Thank you for making me feel appreciated and loved and for not letting me become neglectful.



<3 Nani x

Keep Calm and Klingon

I had a totally kickass weekend. It involved a giant pot, double denim, Audrey, planting 1,900 tree saplings and porn...ooh and golf!

So as you will all remember (because you're just such good avid readers) I was still sick last week and went back to school for my 12 hour day. I then decided to skip my Friday class and do fun stuff instead.

I went to pottery and started making a new bowl (which got totally out of control and has become some totally massive wonky ass thing), my current creations are in the kiln and should be ready this Friday so I will hopefully have new things to show you. That reminds me, did I ever show you guys a picture of the bowl I made Fabian all that time ago?

In panels 1 and 2 you can see the gorgeous that is my bowl making and in panel 3 you can see Fabian appreciating my gift as it is placed thoughtfully underneath a chess board between a billion cds.

You'll have to click the picture to see it properly...




Then Fab and I went to a Denim party. Great idea, am I right? It was my friend Alie's boyfriends 24th and it was really fun. There was dancing and sausages (not dancing sausages, ones for eating and this isn't where I start talking about the porn part of my weekend.) and we got to see Casey's beautiful outside area.

He's a landscape gardener, one of his brothers in a carpenter and together they've made this beautiful outside with trees/plants/decking and it just looks like it's out of a magazine.

I'm going to have 5 sons and they will all have a different trade and they will build me a palace.

Anyway, I was still feeling pretty sickly so we left there after we danced to a whole CD compilation of 90s music and I fell into a very happy sleep.

Saturday morning we got rugged up and headed down to Karkarook park where there was a community planting day. We figure we spend quite a bit of time down there and we love it and looking after our public green spaces is totally down our alley so...



There were 30 of us volunteers and in a couple of hours we'd planted 1,900 saplings. You should've seen me, the pride was palpable.

So, then it was time for Pitch n Putt; a not quite mini, definatelly not full sized, golf course. We went with some friends and it was totally awesome. Our friend Craig lost his ball 3 times because he's a massive muscle machine and kept accidentally hitting the ball out of the entire course. (I won't lie by saying I wasn't scared for my life a few times when his aim was off!)

We'd planned to go home with our friends and have a bbq at Fabian's place only to be told...there was actually a party going on at Fabian's because his step-dad turned 50 and the party was a little spontaneous and we weren't told about it until 2 hours before it started.

Of course, his family it rad so we were all welcome and it just turned into a quite big bbq with cake and baby Audrey. We all know that Audrey makes the freaking party a party.

His sister Zoe makes gorgeous cakes and because Cameron (Fabian's stepdad) is a massive fan of Promite she made him a Promite cake...obviously not promite falvoured.

Here is what promite looks like:


This was the cake:


I KNOW RIGHT. AMAZING!

There are upsides and downsides to this cake however and I need to be completely honest when reviewing things on this blog. (This is my first ever re-viewing of anything, if you want anything reviewed PLEASE dear 1,000,000 just comment me. I'll see it because i only need to wade through 5,000 comments. And by 5,000 I mean 5.)

So, the upside of the cake: It WAS NOT made of promite, there was no promite filling, icing or promite of anything else to be seen. It was delicious chocolate sponge and had this thick delicious white chocolate stuff with chocolate chips inside.

The downside of the cake: It was huge and it was at my disposal and I think i'm about one mouthful of white chocolate stuff away from having diabetes. Thanks Zoe.

Other than that? No downsides.

On Sunday we realised that we had left our jumpers at the golf course because we are responsible adults. On our way to go get them we stopped by Zoe's place and got to hang with Audrey, yes that's twice in the one weekend.

She makes me very happy. It's cool getting to see Zoe so much more too, and that is not just because I want to keep her as my cake making slave in the basement I don't have.

Now I wish I had a basement, that Fritzl dude totes knew what he was doing.

Anyway, on the Sunday we hung out at Karkarook park and then watched Million Dollar Baby and Zach and Miri Make a Porno. (That's the only porn in my entire weekend but I figured I had to get you hooked at the start.)

AND THAT IT. THE BEST WEEKEND I'VE HAD IN AGES.

Oh, and Fab just picked me a violet because he's a freaking darling.



And that's it! That was my wonderful weekend.

Love Nani xx

Wicked witch of the strawberry crop...what?

I made my triumphant return to uni yesterday. I've been off sick for over a week now and it's been really messing with me.

Of course due to my uni's militant standards of 80% attendance I had to go back even though I wasn't functioning quite right. I think it would've been alright had I not gone back on my 12 hour day, 10am-10pm. Torture.

I got home and was completely knocked over, way to take 2 steps forward and 16 back. So I'm off school again today and can't work tomorrow and I'm starting to feel quite like a slug.

On the total upside of yesterdays intense day I found this in my punnet of strawberries and it resulted in much fun while my friend Alie drove us from the clinic to school.

I owe this 'strawberry' much as it stopped me from being all vomit-y in the car.



Ah, now i'm off to buy myself as much denim as I can from an op shop.


Nani xx

I've just spent 2 weeks trying to inspire myself and it totes didn't work

Okay,

So I've been reading this amazing blog by a lady called The Bloggess (well, actually her name is Jenny but her blog is called The Bloggess and in my head that's how I refer to her.)

Anyway, I was totally delighted when I found her blog because I thought 'Oh wow! She writes in such a witty, funny, wonderful manner' - just how I believe I do in my own head...but maybe not actually in real life.

So I was reading it whenever I got the chance in order to inspire myself to write more and also to start at least checking my own posts for spelling errors before I posted them, but then I got sort of intimidated.

Whenever I've gone to write on here I've felt like whatever I've written isn't quite funny enough or smart enough or interesting enough and I just sent The Bloggess an email telling her that my writers block is entirely her fault and I have a feeling that isn't how you're meant to go about sending fan-mail.

Then I had a total epiphany and that is THERE IS HARDLY ANYONE THAT READS MY BLOG.

That is a wonderfully freeing realisation.

Now here is a photo of Fabian and I where I look like a very happy muppet.



Fabian doesn't like me posting pictures of him on the internet. I don't think he ever counted on me finding his nature doppelganger though. Take that Bearian. Fabear. Whatever your name really is.

I will try and post more from here on in and what's more is that I will do my best to write in a way that makes me happy about how I write and that's actually a win for everyone...because let's face it who wouldn't want me to be happy? (see photo above where I am an adorable happy muppet, that funny face makes the world a better place.)

<3 Nani x

Things that are bad for me and my writing

So I can now totally conclude that reading other great blogs where the writing is well above the quality of my own does not in fact serve to inspire me, as I initially thought it would.

Rather, unfortunatelly, it makes me cringe at the posts i've written so far and feel hesitant to write again. In fact, this is the third time i'm writing a post in the passed few days and I don't know if i'll click 'publish post' on this one either.

The others, titled 'Great, now I have a fat vagina' and 'Not only do I have a fat vagina but now I have TB* as well' didn't make the cut.

That may give you a little bit of insight into what kind of week i've been having.

Luckily it's Friday now and i'm in class. The slide infront of me says 'EARTH. Archetype - The peacemaker. Unification is their guiding principle' and it's making me wonder why on EARTH i've been spending 4 years learning to become a witch doctor.

Answer your own question asshole: OK, so i've beenworking at the AIDS clinic and yesterday I was told by my patient that his pain has decreased by 50% and he's been pain killer free since our last treatment which is really important for him because of his other meds.

That's why you're studying this - moron.

Anyway, I'm off to learn the ten personality types.

Nani x

*Luckily, it turned out I probably won't get TB because I was vaccinated for it as a baby because Serbia rocks.

Sashimi

Alie and I were at uni today from 10-10. In fact, I am in class right now - around about the time I usually like to be in my pyjamas getting ready for bed.

I think that you can probably imagine the state that we are in, quite tired, yet strangely happy because we've hit that stage of delirium where we start giggling uncontrollably when our teacher says something along the lines of 'NOTHING FUNNY OR RELEVANT TO LAUGHING AT ALL'.

We ran down earlier to the sushi place, where I ordered some sashimi (see how well i'm sticking to my be-less-fat diet?). Anyway, we were in a massive rush. I ran into the place and breathlessly ordered my food, to take away.

I thought it was obvious I was in a rush.

I then waited about 10 minutes as she slowly took the sashimi from a box where it was all pre-cut (is that gross? I think it is potentially gross.) and arranged it as so.



Do you see what that IS my little minions? THOSE ARE FREAKING ROSES MADE OF SASHIMI.

The woman is a gorgeous tiny genius.

Ah, my class discussion has turned to bugs inside ears - time for me to go and re-tell the hilarious story of Fabians ear vs. Ant.

Nani x

Heavy

So, life is getting less heavy!

Thank god, right? Well, yes I am right, because I have been thanking god so regardless of your opinions I am right.

I just got news that my dear friend Ash is out of hospital and is on his way to the rehab center. Also I had an epiphany or two the other day as to why my last couple of months have just felt like an anvil weighing down my soul and I feel much better as a result.

I've been fasting the past couple of days which has been making me feel a little light headed but a lot better in my body. I've been eating far too much of everything and not listening to my body when it tells me it's full etc. I feel like i'm on the way to being healthy again.

The steroids feel like they're slowly draining out of my body and as a result my face is clearing up and the wierd thick feeling that's been a layer around my body and brain seem to be thinning.

I feel competent about working at the AIDS clinic tomorrow, which is the first time i've felt even slightly prepared to be there.

Also I have organised a date for Fabian and I on Saturday which i'm pretty excited about and my rooms up stairs are looking pretty damn good!

I need to mention probably the key thing to all of this is the BEAUTIFUL spring days we've been having completely out of season. I never realise quite how depressed I am until the winter stops and the sun comes back out to play.

It's been a tonic for my soul I swear, the air smells different and it just makes me want to run I get so filled with energy.

Anyway, I was looking over this blog the other day and realised I hadn't posted any photos in AN AGE. So, i'll be trying to fix that.


Nani x

Kitty

So we saved a cat because we're superheroes.

We were driving along East Boundary Road which is 4 lanes divided by a median strip when Fab goes;

'Nani. Slow down. Nani, stop. Nani THERE IS A CAT.'

So, I slow down, barely enough because I assumed by the time I got to where the cat was it would've run right acroos. Alas no, the cat was very slowly coming to a complete stop right in front of my car.

The cars behind me were getting all annoyed and were beeping and stuff, so I tentatively go 'beep.' One tiny little beep just to make the cat run, to which it turned towards my car and kind of turned it's head to one side curiously.

It then took a few small steps to the right, then to the left and then finally decided slowly to hop up onto the median strip.

We continued driving and I realised 'that cat won't make it off the median strip' so we chuck a u-ie and I park near where the cat was and put on the hazards and Fabian gets out to find the cat.

He finds it, just standing there, doing not much in the grass and he starts circling it in a very Steve Irwin fashion determining how 'dangerous' the cat was. Eventually he picks it up and comes into the car where the cat immediately lies down on his lap and starts to purr.

Dangerous indeed.

The cat had only 1 eye (an old operation) and was very well looked after. It was really clean and super soft like it had been brushed every day of it's life. It had a collar and was registered so we pulled over into a nearby street and called the mobile number on the collar to no avail.

We couldn't just let it back onto the street because it obviously had a death wish with how slowly it was crossing the road so we took it to the Emergency Vet that saved both my dogs, Frieda and Billie, in the past.

They were lovely and the cat was microchipped so it didn't take long to find the home number of the owners. The cat's remaining eye had a massive cataract on it and after doing some clapping tests the vet nurse realised the cat was not only completely blind, but profoundly deaf too.

No wonder it didn't respond to the beeping of my car! Anyway, the owners had been super stressed out that their cat was missing - the guy had been on a conference call so our calls weren't getting through.

Turns out they lived in the street we'd initially parked in when we were trying to call them so we offered to drive the cat home. It was on the way anyway.

The people were lovely but I was secretly sad we didn't get to keep the 1 eyed deaf cat. I really liked him and that's a pretty big deal because I don't usually like cats.

Nani x

Sink

Since I got back from Canberra there seem to have been a lot of things happening in the world of Nani.

Unfortunatelly, not all of them good. A dear friend of mine who I go to uni with had a stroke on Saturday and is in hospital at the moment in an induced coma. Things don't seem to be very good, he had haemorrhaging in both sides of his cerebellum. We're waiting for the fluids to be drained from his head before there is chance of him waking up and then we'll see what damage has been done.

I've felt quite strange since I heard the news, it seems surreal and I haven't quite been feeling affected by it. Mainly because i've been waiting til the next piece of news and i've been able to put off the feeling that anything bad has happened because we don't know how bad. To be honest though it's starting to creep up on me and I just had my first cry over it. He's only 30, so this is a big shock.

Some good news today however, I got my exam results and I smashed the shit out of everything, distinctions for all my subjects except for Pathology which I thought I failed but got 71 for. So I'm very pleased about that, in fact I did a fair bit of singing in the shower after I found out.

I dropped a pearl earring down the sink which was really annoying because I thought dropping jewelery down the sink only happened in movies.

I'm going to hang out with the Lewis sisters tonight which will be nice.

Hopefully my next post won't have such a morose tone.

N x

Home

I'm home! Finally! 8 hours, 3 rest stops and 1 Big Mac later I'm back in Melbourne.

I feel absolutely exhausted. I didn't realise until just then when I sat down at my laptop to put some music on. I'm trying to do some cleaning which desperately needs to be done before I start back at uni.

Now that i've sat down I don't know how i'll go standing back up. My eyes even feel stingy, very go-back-to-bed worthy.

Canberra was great, I really liked it as a place and had a lot of fun with Libby and Chloe. There were a few dramas with Chloe not being able to come but then showing up at the airport which was cool.

The actual place is tiny and huge at the same time. No people, massive roads so no traffic to speak of which makes it seem huge and empty - though we were able to drive around the whole of Canberra in about an hour!

It's highlighted how much I love Melbourne, though that happens every time I leave Melbourne for more than a day! I'm such a sucker for being home-sick. I always miss my dogs and my mum and sister.

I'm looking over the top of my laptop at a huge pile of clothes, dust and a vacuum cleaner that may never be turned on. Libby is on her way over to my house (like we didn't get enough of each other over the passed few days) because we have some stuff we decided while we were in Canberra that we needed to get done.

She claims whenever she comes over i'm cleaning. That's because my rooms are always a mess and I only just manage to make them look presentable before people walk in the door. Well. Not this time my little friend.

Bah, now I feel guilty. Up I get, must tidy at least a little.

<3 N x

Exhale

I am on holidays and actually feel like it. What a relief.

Fabian and I have just been hanging out doing nothing and everything and it's been so good, no horrible fast paced QUICK GOTTA GET EVERYTHING DONE moments. Just...sitting in front of the fire, deciding to pop over to the gym, cooking, playing with the fish, sleeping in and having no alarm.

Kickass.

It's been so great not working too. (I still work at the Chinese Medical Clinic but i'm only there one day a week, so it hasn't felt like my holidays have been sucked up by work).

Oh, i've been wonderfully boring and have been making all my music properly labelled so that when it goes into my i-tunes it's all properly under the right album, genre, title and artist etc. Pedantic, I know, but it gives me joy to have it all so perfectly laid out on my i-pod.

Also, I was having a bit of a crisis where I felt I was going nowhere and doing nothing - so I'm working on an idea which I want to be ready by Christmas but depending on how well it goes and how hard it is to organise it may turn into a mega project that won't be ready until the following year! It'll give me something to do with my time when I feel useless.

Oh! I played this really cool game the other day first with Fabian and then with Aleks and Nova. It's called Settlers of Catan and it rocks my world. I will happily play with you if you would like to give it a go.

What else? I am going on a bit of a road trip with Libby and Chloe for a couple of days to Canberra, where we will stay with Libby's parents, freeze to death and hopefully have a lot of fun.

I feel the itch to go and label some music now.

Au revoir,

Nani x

Traumatised

As in...Musculo-Skeletal Trauma(tised!)

That's it for that subject too! Man, am I glad we're almost there. One more to go and that's tomorrow 3 pm. Wish me luck!

My friend Alie and I have been studying like crazy the passed week at my house. Yesterday I realised i'd seen the sun for the first time in a few days - that's when I realised I was well and truly into my exams.

She's been coming over in the mornings and we've been shutting the blinds whipping out our notes and collapsing half dead infront of the TV at 7:30 for masterchef, dinner and home time.

I can't wait for it to be over. I have crazy wild eyebrows that cover half my face and i've literally had no time to fix them. I feel like i've won a victory when I squeeze in a shower and I can't believe it but I still have 1 pair of clean undies left in my drawer.

I will sit this exam with undies! Now that is not something I've always been able to say.

Also I've somehow magically managed to not get fat on this set of steroids. However I feel like that's just a disaster waiting to happen so I can't wait to hit the gym. I feel like any second Icould blink and my whole face and body will transform into steroid bloat.

Not a pretty picture.

I tried just then to post a not pretty picture of me with steroid bloat to prove my point but blogger won't let me do it. I can't believe blogger thinks my bloated face is too ugly for the internet. Harsh blogger. Harsh.

Speaking of swelling, I need to go and learn the difference between the manifestations of local and systemic inflammation. Blergh pathology.

I hope to return to not-so-boring, completely exam unrelated posts AS OF TOMORROW.

Love N xx

Pustules

Why, yes, you can ask me anything you like on pustules, macules, watery or bloody exudate, acne, folliculitis, carbuncles, furuncles, alopecia, eczema, acne, shingles OR genital warts.+

You know why? Because I totally smashed my dermatology exam that's why.

Hells yeah.

I am very relieved, I was particularly worried about these first two exams because I've been really disabled when it's come to studying this past week or two.

Today finally the bowl I was making for Fab came out of the kiln. I've painted fish all in the inside and i'm pretty happy with how it's come out. It was meant to be a graduation present but seeing as Fab did his last exam a week ago and his technical graduation isn't for a few months, Fab got it today as an inbetween.

Ah, and I have to admit I may have gotten a bit carried away with the 'fish' theme. I spent a few hours hunting down what I thought was the perfect fish tank, full of 3 beautiful fish to go with the bowl.

Sigh.

Fab really likes them, which is lucky because at the start he was a bit shocked and overwhelmed. Fair enough, they're pretty cool. I have real trouble getting my head around the whole fish love thing.

Aleks and her boyfriend both have these huge cool tanks that are full of loads of fish and they know all this technical stuff. Fabian has always loved fish, fishing, now aquaponics, he used to want to work with fish. Fish fish fish.

I just seem to kill them a lot. I'm definatelly more of a dog girl.

I'll get around to posting photos at some stage again, I just seem to have gotten completely slack about it.

Love N x

Classics

Herbal Classics 1.

Done and dusted!

That's it. Finito. I am so pleased. The exam was lucky-easy. By that I mean I got two case studies I happened to be able to answer near perfectly with corresponding formula's I knew like the back of my hand.

(Kind of. Admittedly I ran to the car after the exam to check I'd gotten all the dosages and ingredients of Fu Zi Li Zhong Tang right, and I had so...I may as well have known it like the back of my hand.)

Why was it lucky? Because had I gotten any other 2 case studies it would not have gone too well for me at all. Nope. You may think it's modesty, and actually I'd like to claim that too. Modesty.

Tomorrow is Dermatology. If that one goes as well you may want to hunt me down and pluck out my eyeballs because there's something more lucky about me than a 4 leaf clover.

Nani x

Trucks

I went and saw my gastroenterologist today ANNND, everything is fine.

Well, I still have Chrons, obviously. And I am having an episode flare up. What I mean by everything is fine is that I didn't injure myself like I thought.

See, remember when I was raving on about the Disprin all the time? How I was dowing them like lollies? Well, it was brought to my attention that Asprin disolves in the small intestine and that it's usually contra-indicated when there are any ulcers in the stomach or anywhere.

I kind of knew this, but thought since I was drinking Disprin it was disolving in my stomach and immediately and not floating down to my small intestine.

Anyway, I got really freaked out that i'd done some damage when this episode started and along came with it a lot of uncharacteristic pain. It was really very bad and sudden onset, I contemplated going to hospital and would have had I not already known they'd do sweet fuck all about it.

Anyway, that was all just seneseless fear and paranoia because the Asprin did me no harm, in fact Dr. Davis told me if I was I can keep taking it!

Because I started treatment really quickly the steroids have already started to do their work and now we're working on getting me off them as fast as is safe. (i'll be reducing my dosage by 5ml every 5 days.) Which is so so great because I hate the fuckers.

Study is coming along slowly but is still coming along. Mama has been a life-saver and has been testing me and making me snacks and she's been so wonderful and patient. I love her, how lovely for her to sit there for hours and test me on content that's half in Chinese?! Patience of an angel!

Last night there was quite a bit of excitement because of the big storm. A little before midnight half of the power went out. It was really strange because the TV still worked (Thank god, Wimbledon started last night, it would've been a house of horrors if Mama couldn't watch.) and a lamp downstairs still worked, which was good because I was cutting out all my notes and Fabian (darling heart that he is) was helping me stick them onto pieces of card so other people can test me.

It's a fair warning to not come very near me over the next 2 weeks. I'll probably absent mindedly listen to what you're saying with glazed over eyes and then shove a wad of well constructed study notes into your hands and demand you test me.

Anyway. Fab and I made our way up the stairs into the darkness that was my upstairs and somehow managed to make the bed in the dark and just before climbing in I stepped in a giant puddle of gatorade.

See, i've been having to drink elecrolyte drinks lately because I've been losing too much fluids. I obviously didn't shut one of the bottles properly and in the dark didn't notice I'd knocked in over and created a giant sticky puddle. So, in the incredibly dim light Fabian and I were losing our shit laughing (not literally, by this stage my steroids had finally started to work.) at me hopping around the room trying to find a towel to drop into the puddle until the next day when it was bright enough to see.

Well, I finally found a towel and as I was blindly mopping up the mess i'd made all these flashing yellow lights started coming in through my window.

The trucks had arrived!! Three massive trucks were jammed into my street with these brave men being lifted high into the air to fix the power lines! I loved it! It was so cool and exciting, Fab and I stared out the window in our pyjamas until the lights all came back on and then we cheered the men outside.


It's strange to think I have such a love-hate relationship with trucks. I can't help but love some of them, fire trucks for example - they just fill me with joy! Full of brave men going to do a really important job and that truck is a big red moving machine of hope for someone. It saves lives.

Last nights trucks, big, flashing lights again came to save the day.

Then there are the trucks I hate, the big, pollution makers that are too wide to fit in one lane and that could squish my car in a second. They clog up my air and represent so much what we're doing to the environment.

Not to mention the moving truck I u-turned into a few years ago - lucky to get away with just half my car being torn off. And I mean, come on, thanks god I'm still around or you guys wouldn't have this blog to read.

Time to go back to study.

Love Nani x

Cement

Cement in my mouth.

Well, that's how it feels right now anyway. I started steroids last night to reign in the terror my chrons was unleashing on my body (and the various toilets I graced with my gorgeous butt).

I'm still seeing the specialist on tuesday but my symptoms said the steroids couldn't wait, so I'm on them in the hope that the dosage is fine and that he is just checking up and having all this on his records.

He also needs to tell me by how many g's to drop my steroids by and how often. It usually goes 40g for a week, 35g for a week, 30g for a week etc.

Luckily we got onto this flare up prettty fast and I've started on 30g.

The bad bit is that steroids are horrible motherfuckers that make you feel GROSS. It won't be long until I have steroid bloat (sexy) and from 15 minutes of taking them I had cement mouth.

Ugh.

Now i'm going downstairs to study with Mama because she is a freaking champ who quizes me and then makes me tiny snacks only so I can forget what we've learnt and lose the snacks the next time I go to the toilet.

<3 N x

Specialist

Seeing my specialist on Tuesday because my Chrons has reared it's ugly head a lot.

I've just been hanging around my house or Fabian's house, doing study, quizzing him, watching masterchef and of course running to the toilet to drain myself of all energy and happiness completely.

I'm very excited because tomorrow is Fabian's last exam! TA DA! Finished! Woo! I am very very proud and happy and all the rest of it and of course, how can I forget that I get to pick up the bowl I made for him from pottery tomorrow!

What perfect timing! It was fired yesterday, but because the kiln is so hot it wont be cracked open until tomorrow. It's like opening a giant hot cave (what? You don't open caves?) with the anticipation and excitement of 'will there be a dragon or treasure?!'

Of course, there isn't usually any dragons in the kiln unless someone made one out of clay, but the horror equivalent is when some dopey assed moron does the wrong thing to their clay and it explodes in the kiln.

If this happens everything else in the kiln explodes too.

Okay, it's lacking the huge teeth, spikeytail, death potential and excitement a dragon has but it's still horror am I right?

Does anyone else love officeworks as much as I do? Okay stupid question, that's like asking 'does anyone else love Ikea as much as I do' Firstly it's subjective, but secondly ofcourse you do, everyone does.

Well, I *excited qiggle* have an excuse to go. BOOYA! I need a computer mouse (if officeworks doesn't stock these don't tell me. You're robbing me of incentive.) and, *rubbing hands in glee* some kind of wonderful gadget I don't know exists yet but that HOLDS TOGETHER those lined card things.

Yeah. I know. Awesome right? I get to discover a new gadget and before you say it NOOO A BULLDOG CLIP WILL NOT SUFFICE. Neither will a paper clip.

And the reason I need one of these yet to be discovered gadgets is because I inexplainably write all of my study notes on these lined card paper things. I like it. It makes my study seem more bite sized.

Nani x

Drilling

Dear readers, hello!

How is your morning going? Hopefully you're snug in bed, warm, watching Star Trek Voyager or eating scones with cream and jam.

That is what I wish for you.

YES I AM VERY NICE.

I am sitting at my sisters house, cold - as is expected when it's winter and the door next to me is open.

Oh, why is the door next to me open you may ask. It is open because Peter the tradie is drilling very loudly outside the door and he needs the power point next to me to do so.

Why is it that I am here and not my sister? Because she is at work and well over a week ago I agreed to come here and keep an eye on the rascal Peter and NOT be at home to sign off on my Ipod which I stupidly asked them to deliver today.

Yes! It's true! I am well and truly a moron.

It's times like this that I often berate myself for having a diary and using it for nothing at all important and rather filling it with information like 'see if Nova will make honey joys TODAY'.

(She did. Make honey joys on that day, by the way.)

So, I'm here at totally my own fault and that makes me grumpy.

What makes me more grumpy is that Peter can't read the time and is asking me to alert him every 40 minutes so he can go move his car. This prevents me from snoozing on the couch, watching a movie, and doing anything else that involves me not keeping a track of the time.

Something I would love to be doing right now because the more I look at the clock the more anxious I get that the couriers will get to my house and try to deliver my ipod. Sadly it's not Australia Post that's delivering my ipod. If it was, i'd come home to a note saying

'Sorry We Missed You!' typed in a really cheery font (I don't know how a cheery font is possible but it is) with each word capitalised to emphasise how sorry they truly are.

Instead the ominous sounding TNT delivery people are going to be at my house today.

Perhaps that's the penalty for not being there after you ask them to re-deliver a second time - they explode your house.

Poor Billie and Frieda.

Also in my haste to get here on time I left all my study stuff at home. *sigh*

HOWEVER. I HAVE SOME LESS-ANGSTY/MORE INTERESTING NEWS.

The reason it was hard to jump out of my warm bed and hurry over here in time is because I was in bed LATE. Like...ALMOST MIDNIGHT.

Want to know why? I bet you do!

It's because I was at the Kylie Minogue concert. BOOYA!

My sister took me because she's really nice and loves me and always takes me to things that she can bring guests to/gets free tickets for. YEP.

So off we went, Kylie! Kylie! Kylie...why are your songs so RUBBISH?

The costumes were a.m.a.z.i.n.g, as was the set and the dancers were gods dressed as men, and apparently the concert cost $25 millz to put on.

But all that could only sometimes draw attention away from her absolute shithouse songs.

Shithouse. Rubbish.

The performance was fun, and it was great to go to. We had good seats and it was amazing to see all these people that treated her as though she indeed was Aphrodite (as her tour was aptly named). Though more amazing to see how much she believed it herself!

Incredible.

She was dressed as a goddess the whole time and showed up on stage in incredible ways - Out of a giant shell, on a giant golden pegasus, just to name two. Then she flew over the crowd on the back of a beautiful, gigantic man who had angel wings. (He was real.)



There were water fountains that splashed the crowd and during some stages of the concert I felt I was watching soft-core gay porn. Kylie knows that a huge percentage of her army of fans are gay men and she DELIVERS. Sexy almost naked men playing each others butts like bongos.

I'm serious.

I wish I could figure out how to work my sisters Mac because I would post photos. I will add this later at home I promise.



So, just now something potentially horrible happened.

While I was happily typing away about Kylie, Peter asks to use the bathroom. I say 'sure'.

3 minutes later I hear my sisters dogs barking, though they sounded somewhat far away. I turn around to see that Peter had, after going to the toilet I presume, left the building and the front door open.

I run out into the hall way. (my sister lives in an apartment building on a main road) and to my total horror he's left the massive door to the outside world open with a brick and they'd escaped.

WHAT A MORON. I was running around like an idiot, searching for them thinking at any moment I'd see them dead on the road when luckily a woman who lives nearby who has a dog recognised them from the park and somehow got them back into the apartment hallway.

I am absolutely shaking, I want to kill the man. What an imbecile. He didn't even tell me he was leaving the house, I heard him go into the bathroom, that's where I thought he was all along!!

Angry.

N x

Pizza

It's study time and you should know that this also means eating either: too much, too little, junk, healthy snacks and random instant soups from the cupboards.

Tonight is pizza night because Mama is having a little party at our house and that means I'm studying at Fabians.

Apparently there have been quite a few solar flares lately, so if there have been any unusual or disruptive occurances in your lives do not be alarmed. Well, actually, be alarmed if the disruptive circmstances include your house spontaneously catching fire or something. Just know that the time for disruptiveness is almost over.

That was a little mystical, wasn't it? I think i'm good at it. I wish I knew astrology - I would rock the shit out of writing horoscopes.

There is this practitioner I heard of today who practices remote kinesiology. That means, he can do healing/alignments etc from his home in the country. He sends emails to all of his patients saying things like 'Please stay away from the bay today, there is a major magnetic disruption that is going to come through that way today.'

The lady that told me about it lives in Hampton (on the bay) so she couldn't really escape the place, instead she stayed indoors and was quiet all day.

Amazing!

My first exam is on Monday though it's just a 15 minute practical, so while it counts I don't feel like it's truly the beginning of my exam period. I still have a week after that to study etc before it all really starts.

Today I ate 3 golden kiwis and they were superb. Anyone who hasn't tried the golden variety of kiwis is missing out. They are easily the superior of the 2 kinds of kiwi I have tried.

Nani x