First peach of the summer

I fell down a flight of stairs at my uni on Wednesday and I've been sitting here for days wishing i'd be back to normal and mourning all the things I could be doing instead of being flat on my back.

Currently the thing I should be doing is playing indoor soccer - though my team may actually have a chance of winning now that i'm indisposed.

Also some Star Trek would really be ideal now but I promised Fabian that we'd watch it together so I can't go ahead.

It's one of those wierd silver lining things where something usually happens to me around exam time that forces me to stay at home and do not much other than study. I had my chrons flare up last time and it's usually my catch-a-flu time when exams are on the horizon.

It forces me to study but also stops me from stressing too much cause life happens to be in perspective.

Today was spent studying with Alie. It went surprisingly well and because it's the end of the year we just aren't feeling the same amount of urgency we were experiencing when first semester exams came to a head. I just...don't care much.

I mean, I care enough to be studying a lot but not enough to be really stressed about it - and that seems to be working in my favour.

I got some new things out of the kiln on Friday which was exciting as usual, but I can't post them on here because they're gifts and the intended gift recipients both read my blog! Aren't they lovely (the readers I mean, not the invisible pottery)? See what happens when you read my blog? Good things happen.

Today I ate my first peach of the summer and it made me really happy like only fruit can.

OH! Speaking of summer and happiness - I was watching Star Trek on my computer the other night when I realised that in the scene 2 out of 4 of the characters were positioned that their phasers (futuristic guns, duh) looked like massive erections. That's 50% phaser erection in one scene. 70's Star Trek is just too risque sometimes.

I immediately thought of my friend Summer (Don't ask, I couldn't possibly go into how my brain connected the two) and rewound so I could take a printscreen.

TADA!

Data and Jordi with phaser erections

You're welcome Summer.

<3 Nani

A giant moth pee'd on me.

A giant moth pee'd on me. Well, I can't be 100% it was pee, but it was clear and smelled really terrible. See it was just lounging on my bathroom wall and when I opened the door to go and have a shower it freaked and escaped out the window - dropping it's pee on me as it went.

Fabian suggested perhaps it was giant moth semen, but seeing as I was naked (about to get into the shower) I am vehemently going to deny it was semen because that would mean i'd had a sexual encounter with a giant moth. Not on my life to do list.

Do I hear you asking what is on my life to do list? Oh, something awesome, you know, perhaps like watching The Lion King in 3D, or something.

DONE! Woo! I'm kicking this lists ass! I've SEEN The Lion King in 3D!

The other night Fab and I went and watched it and it was fantastic and hilarious and freaking GORGEOUS. There were no children in the theatre which initially I thought was odd. At the end when the lights went on I saw there were only 8 couples there who were all our age and then I realised that actually I fall into the 'lame young couple' category and not the 'children' category anymore.

No it did not make me feel lame, or infantile. And why yes I did feel a special solidarity with those people - don't judge me.

I haven't updated in awhile because I simply haven't had the brain space for anything. Next week is my last week of classes and i've managed to hand in and finish all but 2 of my assignments. Perhaps the idea of finishing 11/13 should make me happy, but i'm in crisis mode because there are still 2 to go.

Last night I went and had dinner with my little cousin and we went and watched her big sister in a play she's created. I'll blog about it later, but I had a great night. Dinner with Val and a play will always be more fun that the pathology class I skipped!!

Now, because it's only 10.34am I am going to get off my computer and hop back into bed to read my current fantasy novel - I said don't judging me.

Then I am off to pottery (seriously, stop judging me now.) to see if my latest experiment has worked!! I hope so!

Love Nani xx

I think I need a muzzle

Lately I have been getting myself into situations where I get really worked up and defensive. I go to the extreme of contacting the head of faculty or of threatening to report someone to the registration board of their work place.

Then, after it's all cooled down, I look back and go:

'Oh fuck.'

I feel like i'm split in two. With much gusto I go and get shit done and make sure I stand up for myself and crush everyone in my path and I do whats RIGHT.

But then, I let the criticisms or uncertainties of others get me down and question my decisions and I feel like wimping out and wishing I hadn't put into place the irreversable motions I had earlier in the day.

I wish I was one or the other and not torn between the two. As mum pointed out to me yesterday I can't have a 'fuck you' attitude and care what people think at the same time.

I don't know if this is the right way to go about doing things, but I do know that it's better than the alternative which is more the approach i'd been taking the past few years.

I'd notice something was wrong, it would make me angry etc. I would feel and think the rage i'm experiencing now but in reality I'd do nothing, or i'd do something really half assed. Then the time for action would pass but you know what wouldn't pass?

The regret of not having done what I thought was right, for not having stood up for myself or others. I'd hold on to these events for way longer than they deserved, fantasising about what I wish i'd said or done.

Even if doing things this way isn't quite the solution, it's closer to the mark than what I was doing before. And for now, I guess I should take comfort in that and try to learn from my mistakes.

Nani x

A plague of ducklings

[Updated because I was critisised that this post seemed too rushed.]

Today I had a really special day. Fabian took me on a date to the zoo, this might not sound that special but I've wanted to go to the zoo for 2 years since Mali the baby elephant was born - so it was pretty spectacular to get to go on a day and gorgeous as today was.

We did see the baby elephants (see after Mali was born, by some crazy luck another one 'Ongard' was born too - so now there are 2 babies at the zoo!) which are still small and one even drank milk from it's mum, which was surreal because I don't know why, but it never occured to me that elephants suckled and it was adorable.

While the elephants were showing off and being adorable and posing for photos (because they are completely aware that they are spectacular and that humans love them), Fab pointed to their watering hole which was being ignored for now. In the watering hole there was 1 mama duck and at least 15 ducklings that were joyously and somewhat naughtily swimming the expanse of the watering hole, they looked liberated and slightly mischevious as they swam in water that wasn't theirs. I have never seen so many ducklings and when Fabian said they were 'a plague of ducklings' I couldn't imagine a better kind of plague and the idea of it is still making me quite happy.

I wasn't that into the big cats because the size of the enclosure just seemed to be way too small. They all looked bored and too skinny so we moved on from them pretty fast. There were beautiful pelicans and a golden monkey that I can't remember the real name of - I found myself really appreciating animals I never really paid attention to before.

Oh and something completely cool happened in the butterfly house, It's not usually a display I like that much because it's so dense and humid in there but this time just as we were near the exit Fabian told me to stop moving and whipped out the camera:

Why yes, there IS a butterfly on my hat

Oh, and want to read about something infinately cooler than the butterfly on my head? Yeah - I bet you didn't think it got much cooler than that but it does.

There were turtles everywhere today and they were out in full force because of the weather. They were floating/swimming incredibly slowly on the very top of the water so their shells just peeked over the top of the surface. It must have been warm in the top few cm of water I guess.

Anyway, they were really stealthy because their shells are a really similar colour to the water they were in and every now and then we'd be looking at a bird or something else in the water when we'd spot a random turtle completely in sight that we'd been missing while staring right at it.

The turtles being out and about isn't the cool bit, the cool bit is this: we were eating icecream on the steps leading to the pond in the Japanese garden watching what we thought was only a lot of duck when, in typical turtle stealth style, about 10 meters from us appeared a turtle.

As we watched and admired it, the turtle slowly started to rotate on the spot until it was facing us, then, much to our delight, it started to float in our direction.

It very slowly swam right up to us, lifted its head out of the water and gazed at us for a few minutes. It was about 10 cm from where our feet were hanging and we couldn't believe it. It was so strange, like it had seen us and decided we were worth checking out.

When it slowly swam away Fabian remarked 'Do you think it just blessed us with 20 years good luck or what?' Which prompted us to remember the giant turtles in Vietnam and how lucky they are. They are considered to bring amazing luck and blessing to anyone who even sees one. So we promised if the turtle came back we'd drop a coin into the pond to respect the turtle god.

You may not believe this next bit, but I swear it's true. As soon as we made the pact, the turtle, which was a good 15 meters away from by us by then, slowly turned around and started swimming at us again and came so close to us that Fabian was able to put a 10c coin actually ontop of it's shell while it quietly stared at us.

It was totally amazing.

To end my pretty perfect day I just came home and managed to plant some strawberry plants and water my garden while there was still a little bit of day light left.

My gorgeous strawberry plants

Now i'm feeling happier than I have in a long time, i'm sitting with my laptop in my beautiful house listening to Missy Higgins. She always reminds me of Fabian and I feel i'm so lucky to have someone to love me so much and take me to the zoo and teach me to garden.

<3 N xx