I wish I could say I then drove off into the distance on this uncharacteristically sunny winter day and started my holidays off with some sort of climax, like I did at the end of last year where on the drive home Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and shook me out of my post-exam coma so briskly that I got a speeding ticket.
Unfortunatelly this time all I did was stare blankly at the wall of my uni eating my curly wurly trying to calculate in my head if I'd somehow accumulated enough marks to pass. Before I could figure it out I got distracted by the rabbits that had been stuck on the wall by some super trendy vandal.
[I don't know why my University looks like a prison, but I appreciate the 'RABBIT!' tag]
I have to wait until 8pm to celebrate tonight though because my school is run by fascists and I have to be in clinic treating patients even though my exams are over and I am insanely sleep deprived. I am sitting here in the school library getting condescending stares from the Nat's (what we all call the Naturopaths) because I am drinking a Red Bull. If I wasn't so tired I would respond to their stares with a stare of my own which would say,
'Yes, I am drinking a Red Bull and yes, I know it's bad for me. Do you know what's worse? Sticking needles in people after I haven't slept in 4 days and causing a pneumothorax and killing someone. That's worse than Red Bull.'
Exam time always triggers a process through which I go that begins with completely neglecting my physical appearance - this usually happens while i'm motivated and am actually studying.
Then another trigger occurs that makes me drastically neglect my studies and pour my time into my appearance instead. This time it was glancing into a mirror and seeing my reflection - I was surprised to see a pale little mole with a hairy forehead staring at me with a bemused expression. The realisation that this was actually what I look like with a monobrow and with no make up on was a heavy one to accept.
I went home that day and when Fabian, helpful as he is, asked me if I wanted to revise my study notes before my exam the next day - I angrily replied 'NO - obviously I need to be mowing the eyebrow lawn that has taken over half my face.'
By the time I got to my exam my eyebrows were shapely and my nails were freshly manicured and I had managed to mutilate my genitals.
I won't expand on the above statement other than to say: there is something to be said about using really sharp craft scissors to groom your lady garden in the shower where you can't wear your glasses and thus cannot actually see -Yeah, don't do this unless you want to cut a slice off of your vagina.
The positive of this whole situation is that I can sit here (wincing slightly) listening to first year students make the online dictionary pronounce 'gonorrhea', 'anal' and 'chlamydia' and I can smile knowingly at them and I look very good whilst doing so... I will take this opportunity to clear up the fact that I am smiling knowingly because I too had made the dictionary say those words, not because I myself have experienced gonorrhea, chlamydia or anal.
Bring on the holidays,
Love Nani x
